working on a TL for this one

Here's book 1: https://pastebin.com/BbYV4VXs
Book 2 is pretty much done as well so I'll post it in a few days. Just gotta finish my second pass on it. But I'd like them released on their own. You know, maximize engagement and all that...

And here's the 2nd book: https://pastebin.com/c0te9fvq
Pages 7 and 8 are flipped in the zip file. There's no numbering on the images themselves, but that must be what it is. It's carefully noted in the TL anyway.
This is some really good stuff, both chapters. I'm glad I got to do them.

>>25471
>>25473
I extensively revised the scripts, so they are labelled v2 now.

I would like to edit this. Is it fine if I just do it?

>>25499
Yes, feel free.

The majority of the pages I did some minor adjustments to either script or clean that isn't 1:1. If any of them went too far, let me know and I'll revert/fix them.
https://mega.nz/file/Ypp3iK6Y#I7q3xpXUfFj2Rd7vEse4BsMBi4QjfsSnCnMPItQ5txM
I also typeset at late nights against all better judgement, so I likely made a couple of irregular decisions regarding that.

>>25611
It's awesome to see this getting worked on! Here's what I saw when looking through it.

https://mega.nz/file/NkImjJAI#Y3prflt_ROzI00ruJK_bCx8BEBqkZA-HbiTS6sgRJkM
Version 2

>>25613
Heya! I think it looks good, just a few more adjustments I can see.

p04
Maybe make the white stroke on "Stare" 1px larger? Feels just a bit hard to see.

p05
"They're all straight couples..." move down slightly

p17
panel 4, bubble 1 - "motherand" -> "mother and"

bubble 2 - Maybe line it as "An over- / protective / father...?" and move it up a bit?

p20
panel 4 - "Sa-" hyphen to em dash

p22
"Did you fix it?" move down slightly

p24
panel 2 - Vertical ellipsis above Yurika's head

p27
"And now..." "Our seats are right next to each other now!" The double "now" feels redundant, maybe drop the second one or rephrase the first bubble? Not sure what's best.

panel 4 - "She fell in love" move down slightly

-

With these, I think I'm satisfied with it unless ralnicc or anyone else has anything to add.

https://mega.nz/file/dlIRjKJZ#oU0sIo8f9lsVd85QC4WqKNPp2sktrLlk2HuVVEqdWGE
Version 3

>>25615
Hi, I went through it and came up with some script fixes. Phrasing, grammar, etc. I really tried not to bloat it too much with wording changes.
Thanks for all the good work you and Martin have done.

As for why the artist's font choices and typesetting seem so inconsistent and stuff. I think that at least back then, they did not spend too much time studying that stuff, or it's really not their strong suit. Even messes like this show up in their other doujin stuff.
I think it's probably not necessary sticking with their stylistic choices 100% when they just seem puzzling.

I did a further adjustment to your suggestion for page 8. I did not change the bubble for page 9 (I think the "where" is answered by her stating her hair, so IMO "what" makes more sense).
For the vertical aaah on page 26 I changed the font to something that looks slightly better? I'm not a huge fan of super angled horizontal in either direction since it's so steep, but I've attached a sample of it in case you think it does look better.

https://mega.nz/file/h4JBmDRa#q6Je5zQXWalN7TKbFDaKfcs7Z6KWlg3x4gVcaLeQ-iw
Version 4

>>25623
Ah, the explanation regarding "Yurika... / -san." makes sense, my mistake! I missed the joke at the time.

>>25628
I'm happy with how this turned out! No more corrections from me. Just one thing, though - I previously suggested changing "Sa-" to "Sa—" on page 20 panel 4, but I would say it's probably best to revert that since we're not making the distinction in the rest of the dialogue.

>>25628
Thanks. I think the way that it's in the zip is good.

Just a couple more things from me then that's it.
page 7
-panel 4, bubble 2: I think this comma before "too" changes its definition from the intended "like me" to "also I wanted to make this point."

page 8
-panel 3: This is just arguing semantics, but I see 'go out somewhere fun' as emphasizing the event itself of a date regardless of where they go, while removing the 'out' makes it more general, like gives more emphasis to where they might want to go or to do what, which isn't important here.

page 28
-panel 4: That birthday bubble looked much neater before. Please change back.

And there's still a missing space in the credits page.

https://mega.nz/file/E1YQkaZB#AwF4r9VeYv54AvwhDH17D7i9Udem65iaD6IWeAJkDuc
Version 5 - Release candidate 2
All changes incorporated, thanks!

>>25632
I just realized on page 19 I translated the page title in a void and I shoulda made it fit the context better. So how about a simple change to "A little jealous." Sounds like Yuuki, right?
Otherwise, I'm all good.

https://mega.nz/file/t9xG3RKC#imDgckQi60SE5j4_F0XDRVKi5WJURiLL1JcY_8hVgiQ
Release candidate 3

https://mega.nz/file/oxBi0BJT#Q5AL0VvHcI7hYLvZGLe2VxA4rc6zpDERQunq52-HUvE
Renamed the archive and the files inside according to the wiki guidelines sorta.

Released.
Good work everyone.

>>25637

Thanks Tentacles, but you don't need to worry about that. Those parts of the guidelines are just for the updating the webpage, which for now is just my responsibility. I'm already re-uploading the files anyways, so you don't need to bother with changing the file names.

https://mega.nz/file/U4AlxCwK#UO3H-Btr5-xgjqsSAvCKjTYewshZyu7LEroCFgxvuu8
Same deal as before (not as much though) with minor changes and adaptations here and there. probably more aesthetic critique to be had here due to cramped messages or weird layouts and the like.

>>25704
I don't have much for aesthetic critique, but sorry about the wordiness for some of these script alterations.

>>25704
Here's some editing focused suggestions!

https://mega.nz/file/o8AxzARY#IHR35wJQ2DnACg--Dl-B7MkhZFsTcstl9M31s8zLHv8
Accepted all changes.

>>25707
Looks good to me

>>25707
A few more adjustments, then we should be good to go.

https://mega.nz/file/E0ZkUQSA#HGDC17N5xlhEUOCl8zSqPaczToh8BzRQfhbM6dx_ubs

>>25711
I think it's ready to go! Good work.

>>25711

Good work everyone, released.

o7
Glad to have come out of retired for just a bit.