>>24103
Some of this might be a matter of preference, but:
I think the text all around can be made a bit bigger. The font size in the original takes up about half the bubble size, but it's more like 1/4 for the English.
It'd look a bit nicer to change the emdashes to 200% width hypens.
p144
"Her Birthday is January 27th"
Add a full stop maybe? It's missing in the script, but the next narration line has a capital, so I think it was left out unintentionally.
p147
I'd recommend either erasing the original SFX for "Thunk", or moving the English SFX beside the original.
In the same panel, "Ow" is unreplaced.