I'll try to work on this, but don't get your hopes up too much. New term starts on Monday.

>>5092
Do you need Japanese transcription?
And where to upload?

Fuguriya's announcement on 11/11.

>シナリオは 『ミカエルの乙女たち』 とは別に書き下ろした新作で、
>１～５話が 『ミカエルの乙女たち』 より前のお話しで、６～１０話が後のお話になります。

Story is different from "Maidens of Michael's".
Ep1 - 5 are stories before "Maidens...", ep6 - 10 are after.

>>5135
It'd be really great if you can give us a transcription.

You can save a text file and upload directly here or use Google Docs, or similar. I'll put it on wiki after that.

>>5136
Thank you for the update. Please transcribe the dialogue to the best of your ability. I will produce the translated videos.

Download link
http://www.mediafire.com/?8ydjy699g43bwx5

Plane text and I try to emulate .UTF file.

http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi

In this time, they are not related to the story. They are only difficult questions of history.

桶狭間の戦い War of Okehazama
今川 Imagawa
織田 Oda

豊臣秀長 Toyotomi Hidenaga
秀康 (Toyotomi) Hideyasu

吉田松陰 Yoshida Shouin
松下村塾 Shoukason-juku (Yoshida's school)

高杉晋作 Takasugi Shinsaku
入江九一 Irie Kuichi
吉田稔麿 Yoshida Toshimaro
久坂玄瑞 Kuzaka Gensui

高山右近 Takayama Ukon

吉宗 (Tokugawa) Yoshimune (8th Shogun of Tokugawa Shogunate)
家斉 (Tokugawa) Ienari (11th)

新撰組 Shinsen-Gumi (Unofficial police-like group at the end of Tokugawa period)
天然理心流 Ten'nen rishin-ryu (one of style/school of kendo)
北辰一刀流 Hokushin ittou-ryu (↑)

坂本龍馬 Sakamoto Ryouma
藤堂平助 Toudou Heisuke

I think historical background is not necessary at all, so I write their roma-ji reading only.
(But...at first I suspected fuguriya stuffs are testing us or kidding us.)

Rough translation
http://www.mediafire.com/?9o49exp6bxqwhdb

Please translate to まともな English.
Japanese subtitle ass file is archived with it.
Please use time code from ass file.
(I made message window with Japanese characters... It is almost joke and font dependent.)

>>5150
I was halfway through translating the script before realize you also did a translation, so I only have to TLC + editing the latter half and use your translation to TLC my first half. Let me know if I got anything inaccurate.

http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_01

http://www.mediafire.com/?a8e3i1hq8cqgmqi

>>5152
Sorry, I didn't say I started translation.
I made subtitle file English version (text is >>5150 level + some spells correction) and test encoding video.
I use same method and tools when AXYPB and I made textile of PV.
I use Aegisub and VirtualDub. But finishing is owe to AXYPB, I don't know the detail.

When editing finished, immediately we can make video, And this is also base of skeleton for other video.
(Except for message window that is drew by characters. :-) )

>>5153
I also didn't say I started translation, so sorry to you too.

I am unable to access youtube but if someone can provide me the link to the raw I can encode the video in better quality.

>>5156
Thank you, but this will not be necessary. I intend to encode a message window into the video and use the subtitle file to write text onto it. This will allow for multiple languages in future releases if other translators volunteer.

The attached image is a mock-up using the reduced message window based on that of Lily Platinum. I will determine the optimal font for use in the video when translation editing is complete.

>>5160
No worries.

>I will determine the optimal font for use in the video when translation editing is complete.

I already gave it one editing pass. Of course further QC is always welcome.

I red >>5152 Saluki-san's version.
3 points only.

• [Line 197]
  Risa
  Heee, I see. You can certainly read books in school, and I figure you can listen to music with a cellular phone a a music player.

-> with a cellular phone or music player.

• [Line 308～324]
  Risa
  Then here I go.
  What is the big battle on June 12th, 1560?

Miya
The battle of Okehazama, right?

Risa

-> Next, how many Oda army troops were there that challenged against Imagawa 25 thousands army troops?

# Perhaps this is a technic of reading questions.
# I subscribed as「1560年6月12日に起こった大きな戦いは？」
# But it is fake of Risa,
# 「1560年6月12日に起こった大きな戦いは……桶狭間……ですが、今川軍二万五千の兵力に対し……？」
#test translation;

Risa
Then here I go.
A big battle was occur on June 12th, 1560 ...

Miya
The battle of Okehazama, right?

Risa

-> ... but how many Oda army troops ...?

• [Line 361]
  Yoshida [s]houin -> Yoshida Shouin

That's all♪

Ep2 is released.
I started to transcribe.
Video size and aspect ratio is changed to 11:9.

"Maidens of Michaels" trial will be released on this Thursday night (Nov. 15 JPN time).

>>5171
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbwnznI5u0M

I was incorrect in assuming that the releases will be weekly; it appears now that the first five episodes will be released well in advance of the release of Maidens of Michael. If episodes continue to be released every four days rather than weekly, episode 5 will be released five days before Maidens of Michael on the 25th.

I've edited the script for episode 1. I will be able to start encoding in a few days.

「ランチに誘ってみる」
Test translation "Trying to invite her to lunch"
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?dg3sfuh4yh3uein
No archived plane text file.

Sorry I can't attend to translation until this week end.

>>5172
I also surprised "To be determined" means making earlier.
Where did fuguriya hide such a power? Then I expect much for new game.
Fans are also...I did transcribe within 3hours, Kanduki Kamibukuro-chan started daily count-down picture update...

でも璃紗さん、世の中には常識では考えられないようなことだってあるのよ。
However, Risa-san, common sense is an unthinkable thing in this world after all.

Shouldn't this be something like, "There are things in this world that can't be considered with common sense"?
Or to phrase it in a more natural sounding way "But not everything in the world can be approached so rationally, Risa-san."

I haven't read the rest yet, but this was the only part that stood out to me as questionable so far.

>>5178
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_02

>>5166
Thank you for the TLC, KumaIchigo. Fixed.

>>5179
You're right. I changed it to "common sense does not apply to everything in this world".

>>5178
I'll start on ep2 translation.

Is finished. Please TLC.

>>5238
I read ep2 translation, and quick check.
I think meaning is OK. (I can't check English explession)

About "Strawberry milk".
Risa's one is like this ↓.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry_milk

Usually it contains 1 or 2% of real strawberry juice. (For reference, "イチゴ牛乳 strawberry milk" is not allowed as product name in Japan, because it's not 100% of strawberry and milk. Now, their product names are changed such as "Ichigo au lait" or something.)

Proposal:

>イチゴ牛乳よ。まさか、知らないの?
>It's strawberry milk. You can't tell me you don't know? "strawberry milk"

-> some popular strawberry drink name...?

>牛乳とイチゴをジューサーにかけたものとは、また違う味ねえ。
>It tastes different from putting milk and strawberry juice together. #Saluki: Please check.

Here might be left as is.

# Tomino Nakiyoshi-san said it's new genre "Defeated Yuri". :-)
# Less than 3 hours to release the trial, but I have no time to play it in this week. (; ;)

sign
Ichigo.

>>5247
Thanks Ichigo.

> ->some popular strawberry drink name...?

I kind of don't understand what you mean. Do you mean changing the sentence to

->It's strawberry milk. You can't tell me you don't know about such a popular drink?

?

>Here might be left as is.

That's great, thanks. There're still 2 more points I marked in the script, hopefully you or someone could take a look because I'm really not sure:

>今日はそれでも遅い方だったわ、璃紗さんと一緒だったから。
>Today has been slow ever since I was together with Risa-san. #Saluki: Please check.

>べ、別にそんなの気にするほどでもないことよね。
>I-I am not going to worry about something like that. #Saluki: Please check.

>>5249

I mean
"strawberry milk" -> "strawberry flavor milk"
Something like artificial flavor drink.
Ur... I can't explain well. It is enough to understand that is not flesh juice.

The 2nd and 3rd sentences, I can't feel they are natural or not, but it seems ok.

「一般人と、選ばれし民の違い」

(Tentative translation)
"Difference between ordinary people and celebrity"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZrWGxg7iBg

Test encoding for episode 1: http://axypb.net/pub/[YP-PG]_Risa-Miya_Theater_-_01.zip

I took the liberty of correcting k01's timings from the .ASS file he uploaded as well as creating a Japanese subtitle stream. For the English stream, I deliberately used Times New Roman and Arial for the text for those who wish to translate into other languages and included the .ASS files in the archive for that purpose. The font used for the title and credits is Gosmick Sans Bold.

Feedback regarding the font choices and encoding quality is appreciated. If Saluki approves, I will upload it to YouTube and Yuri Project can officially release it.

>>5278

>>5278

The picture changes very noticeably every 3 seconds, probably when the video hits a keyframe or something.

>Gosmick Sans Bold

If you want to get close to the font they used, Gosmick is a bit too round, it clashes with the kana, unless of course that's intended.

>>5280
The font used in the original video is DFGPopcorn-W12. I would include this font for maximum fidelity to the original but the font itself is 3 MB. By contrast, most non-CJK fonts are a fraction of that size. If this addition is negligible, I can include it in the MKV.

I replaced the download with an improved video of better quality and a reduced version of the DFGPopcorn-W12 font. Please redownload: http://axypb.net/pub/[YP-PG]_Risa-Miya_Theater_-_01.zip

This download is 20 MB larger than the previous due to higher encoding settings. Using FontForge, I reduced the size of DFGPopcorn-W12 from 3 MB to 33 KB.

>>5284
"It's sooo frustrating." in the line "Uuu, what's with this sense of defeat? It's sooo frustrating." is missing.

I fixed a few more places in the wiki just now.

When viewing at fullscreen, text overflow the conversation box.

Don't know if this is a problem with MPC alone: randomly skipping to a specific time point in the video will result in text disapprearing, or text appearing but the character's name doesn't.

>If Saluki approves, I will upload it to YouTube and Yuri Project can officially release it.I'd like to wait until episode 3 TL is finished. There're stuff I want to confirm to keep translation consistent.

>>5286
The issues of subtitle rendering are due to limitations with the subtitle filter. Text overflows because the aspect ratio of the display changes, and the name subtitles are not repeated with continued lines from the same character. These are non-issues with normal movies, but the special way I write the subtitles depends on the player window's aspect ratio remaining unchanged.

I agree that we should wait until our terms are consistent with the rest of the series. I'll begin on episodes two and three in the meantime.

Per Shizuka's advice in IRC, I used entirely different encoding settings, which should result in much fewer artifacts. Please redownload: http://axypb.net/pub/[YP-PG]_Risa-Miya_Theater_-_01.zip

Risa Miya Theater ep3 Japanese subscription.
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?pdtqhldg4q7p5dg
a raw text file.

#In ep3, Miya said Yuuna is 3rd year and Risa nodded.
#Yuuna is now 2nd year. I can't decide it is mistake or under-plot.

I've had a chance to finish reviewing episode one.
I have a few other comments (I figured I would post them here for discussion rather than just change the translation on the wiki page without saying anything).

あーら、そう。じゃあ学校の授業よりもすごいお勉強をしているのかしら？
Oh ho, so that's the case. Then I wonder if what you are doing with such amaaazing diligence is more important than school?

There may be an acceptable level of liberty taken with this line, but I interpreted it as pointed question as to whether Miya studies more outside of class than she would in class.
Oh, I see. So then you’re studying waaay harder than you would in class, huh?

Regarding Yoshida Shoin and his school, there seem to be already commonly used romanizations for these names slightly different from the ones provided by K01.

Yoshida Shoin (founder)
Shoka Sonjuku (school)
Takasugi Shinsaku, Irie Kuichi, Yoshida Toshimaro, and Kusaka Gensui (The "Big Four.")
My references: http://red-bird.org/meiji/irie.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoshida_Sh%C5%8Din

高山右近の像がある海外の都市は？
In which foreign city does the statue of Takayama Ukon currently reside?
Should this be "A statue" instead of "The statue"? Saying "The" implies that there is only one statue of him.

新撰組の隊士には天然理心流をはじめ、さまざまな流派の剣士がいました。
The Shinsengumi's squad members, such as Ten'nen Rishin-ryu, comprised of many swordmen from different styles.

I will admit that this sentence gave me some trouble, but what it's saying is that the Shinsengumi was formed by swordsmen from various styles of fighting, one of which was Ten'nen Rishin-ryu style.
The way this is phrased, it sounds as though Ten'nen Rishin-ryu was a person who was a member of the Shinsengumi, rather than a style of fighting.
Here is how I translated it:
The members of the Shinsengumi were comprised of swordsmen from varios schools of training, including the Ten’nen Rishin-ryu.

大河ドラマでも、そこまでの詳しいことは……。
That's too obscure even for a Taiga drama (famous TV drama series)…
I presume this is referring specifically to the NHK series "Shinsengumi!"
This makes it sound like it's refering to TV dramas in general, rather than a specific series.

I translated it as:
Even the TV show didn’t go into that much detail...

そんなの反則よお。これだから天才は……。
That's foul play! It's just because you're a genius…
Wouldn't "Because you're a genius" be 天才だから?

I interpreted this sentence as:
So this is why they call you a genius...

音響：久坂真生
Audio: Kusaka Masao

真生 appears to be read "Mao."
http://sound.jp/studio_mao/

>>5296
Thanks Ralen.

I agree with these points:

>Oh, I see. So then you’re studying waaay harder than you would in class, huh?
>"A statue" instead of "The statue"
>So this is why they call you a genius...
>Kusaka Masao
>Ten'nen Rishin-ryu [stupid mistake from me, I reworded this sentence as well as the one right after it]

The Shinsengumi comprised of many swordsmen from various styles, such as the Ten’nen Rishin-ryu.
Among them, there was another swordman from Hokushin Ittou-ryu, the same style as that of Sakamoto Ryouma's.

As for the remaining 2 points:

>Regarding Yoshida Shoin and his school, there seem to be already commonly used romanizations for these names

I think I'd prefer to keep these names in wapuro romaji like now.

>I presume this is referring specifically to the NHK series "Shinsengumi!" This makes it sound like it's refering to TV dramas in general, rather than a specific series.

I know Risa wasn't refering to any specific series. She used Taiga as a synonym for "historical dramas". However, normal historical dramas can't illust exactly how insignificant the info on Toudou Heisuke's style is, that's why Taiga was mentioned as a point of comparison (these dramas are famous and cover many historical details). So I'd keep this information in.

>>5294
Thanks as always, Ichigo. I'll start on it.

>>5296
Thank you for your corrections. Do you want a TLC credit for this release?

>>5304
Wasn't Shinsengumi! a taiga drama though? I'll admit I don't know anything about the series, but the fact that there was a taiga drama called Shinsengumi!, and the fact that she references taiga drama when talking about the actual Shinsengumi seemed like too much of a coincidence. I figured she had to be referring to that specific taiga drama.

Leaving the names in wapuro romaji is okay, but I still think Shoukason-juku should at least be changed to Shouka Sonjuku, since that's where most romanizations I've found online seem to put the break in the word.

I also found one other issue.
だから、授業を受けなくていい、とでも言いたいの？　美夜さん。
You really like saying you don't need lessons, don't you, Miya-san?

In this case 言いたい isn't "Like to say" but more like "Want to say" or "Trying to say."
So are you trying to tell me you don’t need to go to class, Miya-san?

I took the liberty of writing up my own translation of episode 1. I've posted comments in this thread on all the significant differences I noticed between my translation and what was on the wiki page; the rest is mainly just differences in wording.
I've uploaded my translation to mediafire (I hope everyone can view .rtf files), which you can download below, in case anyone would like to use it for their own personal review or comparison to the translation on the wiki page.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/ey7v9bc8m417hif/Risa-Miya_Theater_01.rtf

If you happen to see anything in my version that you like though, please feel free to incorporate it into the translation on the wiki page (You may credit me if you like, AXYPB). I just didn't want to be so presumptuous as to arbitrarily start applying my changes since many of them are simply a matter of phrasing.

I will say though, that I don't like seeing laughter translated as Ufufu. When read in English it sounds like Oo-foo-foo which doesn't sound like any kind of laugh I've ever heard.

I will begin reviewing Episode 2 some time today or tomorrow.

Thank you all and I didn't check common romanization, and "Kusaka Mao", these are my mistake.

吉田松陰
I checked some books, common expression is Shōin, not Shoin (Shōin = Shooin or Shoh'in). Wiki also.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoshida_Sh%C5%8Din
Indeed, real pronunciation is so.
But I feel Shouin is better because of English characters and pronunciation, and straight wapuro(^^) typing.

"Taiga drama" is clearly refer to "Shinsengumi!", I agree to Ralen.
And it is clear for readers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinsengumi!

>In this case 言いたい isn't "Like to say" but more like "Want to say" or "Trying to say."
>So are you trying to tell me you don’t need to go to class, Miya-san?

That's right. This is what Risa want to say.

I read the rtf. Except for Shoin's expression, It is ok.

Episode 2.

My listening comprehension isn't very good (which is why these transcriptions from K01 are invaluable; thanks again), but I did happen to notice a few slight discrepancies in the Japanese script for this episode.
それより美夜さん、そんなにたくさん、んーと、ええっ！
There seems to be a こそ missing here.
それより美夜さんこそ、そんなにたくさん、んーと、ええっ！

初めてよ。少し飲んでみてもいいかしら?
Should be
初めて見たわ。少し飲んでみてもいいかしら?

Here are my notes on the translation itself. Some of these are just conjecture on my part if I didn't understand something well myself, so anyone please feel free to correct me if I've made any incorrect assumptions.

午前の授業をサボったと思ったら、また中庭にいたのね。
Maybe she stayed in the courtyard and skipped class this morning again.

My interpretation of this is:
I suspected she’d skipped morning classes, only to find her in the courtyard again.
It seems to be more of an assertion than conjecture. Like saying "I suspected as much."

完全に、計画的犯行ね。
This is a scheme, no matter how you look at it.

Calling it a "scheme" makes it sound like it's got some ulterior motive.
I interpreted it as just pointing out that Miya intentionally planned the whole thing in advance (as evidenced by her bringing her lunch with her).
So this must have been her plan all along.

注意しなくちゃ。
I have to take caution.

In this case, wouldn't this be more like "I have to give her a warning"?
I’d better give her a talking to, is how I translated it.

誰も友達がいないから、きっといつもそうなのね。
I'm sure she doesn't have any real friend.
Is more like "Because she has no friends, I'm sure she's always like this."
She doesn’t have any friends, so I’ll bet she always eats alone.

私なんて、パン二つとイチゴ牛乳だけなのに。
Compared to that, I only have two kinds of bread and a strawberry milk.

Should that be "Two kinds" or just "Two pieces"?
All I’ve got is a couple of pieces of bread and a strawberry milk.

そんなガツガツ食べていないのに。
And yet you didn't gobble food up fiercely or anything.

I'm not certain of this one. At first, I also thought she was referring to Miya, but based on something Risa says near the end, I now think she's referring to herself, saying she's not eating as fast as Miya.
I’m not anywhere near that fast.

こういうときは、わたくしが箸で、あーんとかして、食べさせた方がいいのかしら？
I only have one pair of chopsticks. I wonder if I should lend it, or I had better feed you myself?

Should be more like:
It’s just that, in these situations, shouldn’t you hold your mouth open so I can feed you from my chopsticks?

>>5247
I think it's well enough understood by English speaking audiences that "Strawberry Milk" is just strawberry-flavored, and doesn't actually contain strawberries.

牛乳とイチゴをジューサーにかけたものとは、また違う味ねえ。
It tastes different from putting milk and strawberry juice together.

Only a slight change:
It tastes completely different from putting milk and strawberries into a juicer.

今日はそれでも遅い方だったわ、璃紗さんと一緒だったから。
Today has been slow ever since I was together with Risa-san.

I'm not certain I understand this sentence correctly, but it sounds as though Miya is saying she slowed herself down (once again) to come down to Risa's level.
I even slowed down my eating today since I was with you, Risa-san.

私も早く食べて、午後の授業の準備でもしようかしら。
I should eat quickly too. Is there anything I should prepare for classes this afternoon?

This doesn't seem like a question, but just a volitional statement.
I should hurry up and finish too, so I can get ready for this afternoon’s classes.

ん？　そういえば、このパンとイチゴ牛乳、さっきまで美夜さんが……
こ、これって、もしかして、あの、間接キス？
べ、別にそんなの気にするほどでもないことよね。
なんでもないわ。 うくっ（食べる）
Mm? Come to think of it, this bread and strawberry milk, just now with Miya-san…
Th-That was… Could that be, by any chance, an indirect… kiss?
I-I am not going to worry about something like that.
*It was nothing. *Omph**

This looks mostly fine, but I included the whole paragraph since Saluki had a request to check it.

The way this is currently phrased makes it sound like Risa is thinking of an indirect kiss that may have already occurred when Miya ate off her food and drank from her milk.
But the way I interpret it is that she's concerned about the indirect kiss that's about to take place once she finishes the bread and milk Miya just had her mouth on a moment ago.
Huh? Now that I think about it, Miya-san just had her mouth on this bread and strawberry milk...
Is- Is this what they call an... an indirect kiss?
W- Well it’s nothing worth getting myself worked up about.
It doesn’t really matter.

Once again, I have included my complete translation as a separate file for anyone's personal use or for additional comparison if anybody would like.
As before, I have only pointed out the significant differences in my comments above.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/q863548lq543n6p/Risa-Miya_Theater_02.rtf

>>5318

Episode 2.

>それより美夜さん[こそ]、そんなにたくさん、んーと、ええっ！
>初めて[見たわ]。少し飲んでみてもいいかしら?

I saw the video again. You are right, my mistakes.

注意しなくちゃ。
"I have to give her a warning" / "I have to watch her more carefully"
From Japanese sentence and Risa's acting, both meanings are possible.
I think , because of story flow,

> I’d better give her a talking to

is better.

私なんて、パン二つとイチゴ牛乳だけなのに。

>Should that be "Two kinds" or just "Two pieces"?
>All I’ve got is a couple of pieces of bread and a strawberry milk.

Japanese meaning is just "Two pieces".

そんなガツガツ食べていないのに。

>And yet you didn't gobble food up fiercely or anything.
>I'm not certain of this one. At first, I also thought she was referring to Miya, but based on something Risa says near the end, I now think she's referring to herself, saying she's not eating as fast as Miya.
>I’m not anywhere near that fast.

Umm, here is simply Risa's feeling from Miya eating. My opinion, here will be as is.

>牛乳とイチゴをジューサーにかけたものとは、また違う味ねえ。
>Only a slight change:
>It tastes completely different from putting milk and strawberries into a juicer.

I agree It's natural.

>こういうときは、わたくしが箸で、あーんとかして、食べさせた方がいいのかしら？

It’s just that, in these situations, shouldn’t you hold your mouth open so I can feed you from my chopsticks?
It's better. Besides I want to know Is there a certain style of translating "あーん" ? :-)

About the other points I agree.
(I'm reading rtf for my study.)
Thank you checking Ralen.

I'll get to Ralen's and Ichigo's TLC tomorrow, ETA 28 hours from this post. Just a head up in case anyone is wondering why I haven't replied. Thanks for pointing all those out btw, they're very helpful.

>>5320
Thank you once again KumaIchigo.

Just to confirm, do you you agree with:

>今日はそれでも遅い方だったわ、璃紗さんと一緒だったから。
>I even slowed down my eating today since I was with you, Risa-san.

In other words, Miya is saying she has slowed herself (again) for Risa's sake?
That's the only other part I wasn't sure about.

Also,

>そんなガツガツ食べていないのに。
>And yet you didn't gobble food up fiercely or anything.

The reason I thought this might be Risa referring to herself is because at the end, Risa says
だからって、そんなスピードじゃ食べられないわよ。
The だからって sounds to me like she is trying to repeat herself from earlier. So I thought both places were her talking about herself being unable to eat so quickly.

>Besides I want to know Is there a certain style of translating "あーん" ? :-)

I would usually translate it as
Say "Ahh."
or
Open wide and say "Ahh."

I may take a look at episode 3 later today.

Here is my translation of episode 3.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/j56gw3sgygbkalk/Risa-Miya_Theater_03.rtf

I put # marks next to a few lines I wasn't sure about.

First is this line.
The transcript has it as:
あ、でも美夜は友達とか、そういうのじゃなかったわ。そういうのは、なし、なし！
But it sounded to me like:
あ、でも美夜は友達とか、そういうのじゃなかったわ。今は、なし、なし！

Either way, I'm not sure of the meaning. Risa is trying to convince herself that she and Miya aren't friends, I understand that much, but I don't quite get the nuance.
This is one of the lines I marked in the script as questionable.
#Although it’s not like Miya is a friend exactly. She’s not, really!

ミカ女一の優等生はわたくしの方が相応しくないかしら。
#You don’t think I’d be good enough for the top student at St. Michael’s?

Again, I get the basic meaning, but I'm not sure I understand the nuance.
Is she irritated because Risa doesn't seem to think she would stand a chance with Yuuna?

たしかに美夜さんは天才かもしれないわ。でも、生活態度は最低でしょう？
#I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth next.

Is this just a general observation about Miya's impolite speaking habits, or is it in direct reference to what Miya just said?

The last was another issue with the transcript.
It has this:
それ、前にも聞いたわね。でも、それ、おうちでやりなさいよね。学校は勉強するところよ。
But it sounded to me like this:
それ、前にも聞いたわね。でも、おうちでやりなさいよね。学校は勉強するところよ。

Those are the only points I had questions or comments on.
Of course it's completely possible I made mistakes elsewhere, so please feel free to point out anything you think is questionable or may be in error.

>>5345

About transcribe errors, thank you for your correction. XD

>#Although it’s not like Miya is a friend exactly. She’s not, really!

It is Miya's "Tsun" and exactly "Risa is trying to convince herself".
I feel this is good.

>#You don’t think I’d be good enough for the top student at St. Michael’s?
>Again, I get the basic meaning, but I'm not sure I understand the nuance.
>Is she irritated because Risa doesn't seem to think she would stand a chance with Yuuna?

Miya's background is not clear now. and there is a possibility that is the reason why Miya think Yuuna is 3rd year, I feel.
Anyway, now (= still ep3), this sentence should be straight translation.

>何を言い出すのかと思ったら。
>たしかに美夜さんは天才かもしれないわ。でも、生活態度は最低でしょう？
>#I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth next.
>You may be a genius, Miya-san, but you’ve got a lot to learn about manners.
>
>Is this just a general observation about Miya's impolite speaking habits, or is it in direct reference to what Miya just said?

I feel "生活態度は最低" indicates mainly Miya's skipping classes.
(Miya's speaking is too polite, it is to say 慇懃無礼.)
It seems teachers allow Miya and only Risa is chasing Miya, that is a mystery and I feel the reason of Miya is irritated. These points are probably solved in the game. There is something here but we can't know it now.
Then here also should be straight translation, I think.

from rtf file

>教室に行かなければ済むだけのことでしょう？
>If I don’t go to class, that would put a stop to it.

Miya doesn't care the rumors stop or not. "済む" means just "It's fine". it is not "rumor is end".
Test:
If I don't go to class, I could be asked nothing.
or simply
If I don't go to class, it is fine at all.

>>5350

>It is Miya's "Tsun" and exactly "Risa is trying to convince herself".
>I feel this is good.

Why is it first そういうのじゃなかった (past)
But then 今は、なし (present?)
Is there supposed to be some sort of contrast there?

>I feel "生活態度は最低" indicates mainly Miya's skipping classes.

Maybe this would be better then:
You may be a genius, Miya-san, but you need a serious attitude adjustment.

>(Miya's speaking is too polite, it is to say 慇懃無礼.)

That's interesting to know, I didn't realize there was a word for that.
In English we might call that "Passive aggressive" (similar meaning, but not quite the same).

>教室に行かなければ済むだけのことでしょう？
>Miya doesn't care the rumors stop or not. "済む" means just "It's fine". it is not "rumor is end".

I should have marked that sentence as well.

I think, then:
They can’t bother me if I don’t go to class.

>>5369

>Why is it first そういうのじゃなかった (past)
>But then 今は、なし (present?)
>Is there supposed to be some sort of contrast there?

Umm, it is difficult question... I'm not sure but I try to explain.
Japanese does not have the past perfect tense clearly. It is usually written in past form. (Perhaps English is special at this point in the world)

I remember (I found / I force me to think) Miya has not been my friend (yet). Now she is not (my friend) really!
(Risa hides "yet" to herself) ... It's only my feeling.

>You may be a genius, Miya-san, but you need a serious attitude adjustment.

I agree.

>"Passive aggressive"

Thank you.

済む：goo dictionary (Japanese)
http://dictionary.goo.ne.jp/leaf/je2/39594/m0u/%E6%B8%88%E3%82%80/
2.(間に合う)

>教室に行かなければ済むだけのことでしょう？

Then meaning is
Only I will not go to class, it is enough to avoid them.
済むだけのこと is like this, (but it is not natural.)

>>5372

>I remember (I found / I force me to think) Miya has not been my friend (yet). Now she is not (my friend) really!

I think I understand.
"Miya and I haven't really been friends (before now) and are still not (even now)."

I think the original translation is fine to keep though.

>教室に行かなければ済むだけのことでしょう？

Does 「だけのこと」 apply to the entire phrase 「教室に行かなければ済む」?
Or does it only apply to 済む?

Either way, it seems to be enough to realize that Miya doesn't plan to go to class, so she won't be bothered by her classmate's reactions or rumors.

I still think my translation from >>5369 should work.
They can’t bother me if I don’t go to class.

>>5314
I edited the current translation of episode 1 with some lines from Ralen's translation. If Saluki and Ralen approve, I'll produce the final version and upload it.

Episode 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXQIguQWlE

>>5396
Okay, I finally signed up for an account at the wiki page so I can make changes myself.

I mostly just made a handful of additional tweaks based on things discussed in this thread that seemed to have been missed. My apologies if they went unchanged intentionally.

Here's a brief outline:

Miya's speech is very polite, so I think she should sound more refined.
I think words like "Yeah" should be avoided, such as in:
Yeah, I skipped.

Also, (and this is just my personal opinion), I think vocal actions should use onomatopoeia instead of being written out.
So rather than seeing Giggle or Sigh it would be better to see Heeheehee or Haaah.

Speaking of giggles, I noticed most of the Fufufu changed to Hehehe but there was still one that read Fufu. I modified that one to be consistent as well.

There were also still some issues with the romanization of the Japanese names.
Yoshida rather than Youshida,
Kusaka rather than Kuzaka,
and Shoin should either be Shōin, or Shouin, based on KumaIchigo's notes in >>5315.

That's all I have left to say about Episode 1.
Now that I've got an account on the wiki, I'll go ahead and upload my translation of Episode 3, along with the changes I made to it based on KumaIchigo's help.

Ep4 is released and I make a transcribe.
一緒に遊びましょう Let's play together
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?8n51n8r3f5t2fyy
Plane text, no archived (UTF-8)

>>5403

>Miya's speech is very polite, so I think she should sound more refined.

I agree. Shizuku (SH8) is same, but I can't point the places because I can't speak polite English. orz

----
This is not proposal. Only I want to know.
Can you make different expression between Watashi and Watakushi?
Watakushi is more polite or too polite.
In Japanese transcribe, I distinguished between わたし（私）　and わたくし.
In Sonohana series, Yuuna, Shizuku, Runa(sometimes) and Miya say Watakushi.
----

>Also, (and this is just my personal opinion), I think vocal actions should use onomatopoeia instead of being written out.

I agree.
(I thought it should be same as another SH translations at first, but perhaps they are not natural)

>There were also still some issues with the romanization of the Japanese names.
>Yoshida rather than Youshida,
>Kusaka rather than Kuzaka,

They are right and probably it's my mistyping. please see >>5148.

>Shoin should either be Shōin, or Shouin,

I can't decide this point.
Please select which is natural in English sentences.
(If it is a VN, in SH1-10 and Hanahira! system, probably "ō" can not be used. New game...utf8?)

That's all♪

>>5410

>Can you make different expression between Watashi and Watakushi?

I don't know of a very good way to make these sound different in English.

In my experience, it's better to try to capture the overall feeling of someone's speech when translating, rather than trying to come up with an equivalent for each individual word or phrase.

Sometimes this may mean losing some of the nuance of the original Japanese in certain places where it doesn't translate well, but it can also mean taking liberties in other places where it would sound more natural or appropriate in order to maintain the overall tone.

>>5411
Thank you for kind reply.
Until SH10, main characters are two persons.
But 13 characters are attended to new game, perhaps we will need designation table.
I make a Japanese version. This is skeleton to make a table and for example.
These tables are useful when writing a fan fiction. I think translation also.
Especially, to translate no subject sentences.
It is an excel 2003 file, no archived. I checked it using AVG free.
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?399x3b9du0zhto3

>>5413
I would suggest one correction: Sara uses 紗良 to refer to herself.

>>5413
If you want to get really anal, you could break it down even further:
Reo: ワタシ
Mai: わたし
Kaede: 私
And so on...

>>5414
>>5416
Oh, ツッコミ thank you. That's right.
I will update and add Hanahira! girls.
...They call Eris as Lumière Nova...)

>>5418
Additionally, Yuuna calls Nanami 七海 in private.

>>5406
Thank you, as always, KumaIchigo. These translations would be impossible without you.

I would upload my translation of episode 4 to the wiki page, but it seems to be down at the moment. Here it is uploaded as a .rtf again.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/796jqa8rp5e1s5v/Risa-Miya_Theater_04.rtf

There were a few places I was a little uncertain about my translation, but I feel I was able to capture the general meaning of everything. Please point out anything you feel should be changed though.

The only major question I had was this:

>これって！　お取り寄せスイーツNo.１ の、あのお店のじゃない！

Is お取り寄せスイーツNo.1 a reference to something specific? Like this?
http://www.otoriyose.net/sweets/
Or does it just refer to mailorder sweets in general?

>>5422
I've not read the translation yet, but about the question,
これでしょ？

http://www.otoriyose.net/ranking/category/gr0024.htm

http://www.otoriyose.net/kuchikomi/item/og0000033.htm

>>5423
Hm, I should have gone with my first instinct then.

>これって！　お取り寄せスイーツNo.１ の、あのお店のじゃない！

What?! This is from that shop that was ranked number 1 on Otoriyose Sweets!

Also

>This/These

Do you suppose it's one whole cake? Or many slices of cake?

>お好みのようね。

I translated this as "Take your pick," but if it's one whole cake it may be more like "Help yourself."
Although I originally translated it as "Make yourself at home," but I don't think that's quite the same meaning.
"Make yourself at home" = お楽にしてください。

>>5425
I asked my friends about the "otoriyose sweets" site.
That is not so popular and they thought "it just refer to mailorder sweets in general".
The site may be just only model of Risa saying.

>This/These
>Do you suppose it's one whole cake? Or many slices of cake?

Fumm... I imaged whole cake from Miya's character.

>お好みのようね。

Here is just "I guess it is your favorite".
(If it is "Take your pick" or something, "お好みでどうぞ" or "お好みのように(little bit strange)".

Another sentences

>それにもう、物真似はこりごりよ？
>Besides, I’ve had my fill of doing impressions for you.

Japanese meaning is
"I already done plenty of mimic." or "I won't mimic someone again."
Same feeling, but is it ok?

>バウムクーヘンの周りのアイシング、ぱりっとしていておいしいわ。
>Da ishing on dis baumkuchen ish sho crunshy an’ delicioush!

wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
The word "baumkuchen" had become a common Japanese word. Please don't ask me why, I don't know.
Then Risa is not speaking Deutsch ... or which language is this? XD
Please don't ask me why Japanese has no syllable near "si" and it must be changed to "shi", I don't know why. XD
そこまで、もぐもぐしてなかったなーと、思っただけです。

>>5443

>Here is just "I guess it is your favorite".
>(If it is "Take your pick" or something, "お好みでどうぞ" or "お好みのように(little bit strange)".

I see, I misunderstood Miya.
When she said 「お好みのようね」 I thought it was the same as 「おこのみのようにして」 (with 「にして」 left out as being implied).

>それにもう、物真似はこりごりよ？
>Japanese meaning is
>"I already done plenty of mimic." or "I won't mimic someone again."
>Same feeling, but is it ok?

"I've had my fill" means the same thing in English.
"I've had enough," or "I don't want any more."
It means Risa doesn't want to do any more impressions.

>wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
>そこまで、もぐもぐしてなかったなーと、思っただけです。

かなりもぐもぐしてたと思った…
I'm glad you thought it was funny though.

I'll upload the episode 4 translation to the wiki this afternoon.

Episode 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xIA_cKHXz8

Sorry, my main PC is in trouble.
Probably I lost ep5 transcribe.
Please wait several days or if someone can make transcribe, please upload.
(Also I lost some DL version Sonohana (;;) )

Episode 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqgRH1y3ol4

Raw text, no archived.
ep5
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?hbrjnm6qse06bqa

ep6
http://www.mediafire.com/view/?bpnkx5xy65wotp0

>>5588
頑張れ。

>>5324
Saluki, I'd like an update on your progress with the first few episodes. I'm ready to create an encode of episode 1 for YouTube.

>>5612
Do we need to match the format to VN?
I wrote here,

>Dialog
>(Monologue)

Game:

>「dialog」
>monologue

>>5615
That won't be necessary. The subtitle files don't have the constraints of the visual novel scripts, so it's easier to write them freely.

>>5612
I haven't had time for it yet, let's see in a week.

I've posted my translation of episode 5 on the wiki page.
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_05

I only had one question this time.

>ま、まさか、本当に寂しいの？　冗談よね。
>D- Don’t tell me you’re really going to miss me? You’re kidding.

Normally I would interpret 冗談よね as "I'm joking" but in this context it seems more like "You're joking." Did I understand correctly here?

Aside from that, I didn't really have any questions, but please feel free to proof read (anybody) and make notes or comments as you feel are necessary.

While translating this episode, I believe I finally understood something I had a question about from episode 3.

>>5345

>ミカ女一の優等生はわたくしの方が相応しくないかしら。
>I suppose I’m not good enough for the top student at St. Michael’s.

I originally interpreted this as Miya feeling somewhat dejected that Risa doesn't think she's suitable enough to be with Yuuna (the top student at St. Michael's).
But based on an exchange from episode 5, I now think it's her feeling dejected that Risa doesn't seem to think she suitable enough to be the top student at St. Michael's herself.

That also makes sense with what Risa said next, about Miya being smart enough, but her attitude needing adjustment.
I've amended the translation on the wiki page (although the difference is subtle).

>I suppose I’m not good enough to be the top student at St. Michael’s.

I made a first pass of episode 6. I'll proofread and upload it to the wiki tomorrow.

There's one line in this episode that was giving me a lot of trouble though.

>美夜ったら、もう、また真顔でそんなことを。
>どきどきしちゃうし、うれしいけれど、でもダメ！　それは一学生としては、大問題よ！
>Honestly, Miya, how can you say that so seriously?
>#Sure you make my heart flutter, and you make me happy, but I can’t allow this! This is a huge problem for a single student to have!

>>5624
Thank you Ralen.
And I hope more translators and readers coming.
Please attend here.

>ま、まさか、本当に寂しいの？　冗談よね。
>D- Don’t tell me you’re really going to miss me? You’re kidding.

# Normally I would interpret 冗談よね as "I'm joking" but in this context it seems more like "You're joking."
# Did I understand correctly here?
I think you are right and "You're kidding" is best.

>ミカ女一の優等生はわたくしの方が相応しくないかしら。
>I suppose I’m not good enough for the top student at St. Michael’s.
>I suppose I’m not good enough to be the top student at St. Michael’s.

Sorry! I missed this sentence when you talk about.
わたくしの方がふさわしくないかしら。= わたくしの方が、（優菜よりも、）[ふさわしい、のでは、ないかしら。/ふさわしく、ありませんか？]
Then meaning is simply,
-> I suppose the top student is I rather than Yuuna at St. Michael's.

Anothers.

>あ、これってあの有名な大東京ゼミナールよね。
>Oh, this is for that big famous seminar in Tokyo.

"大東京ゼミナール" is a (imaginary) cramming school name. Not only in Tokyo.
(Japanese famous cramming schools are chain store.)
sample -> Oh, this is for the famous Great Tokyo Seminar. :-)

>ここの講師になるためには難関な試験に合格しないとダメらしいわ。
>It seems as though one must pass some rigorous examinations to become a lecturer at this event.

-> to become a lecturer of the school / to enter the school as a tutor.

>でもそうしたら、この夏休みは美夜と一緒に……
>But if I do, I’ll end up spending the whole summer with Miya-san…
>だから、なんだっていうのよ！
>But who cares about that?!

Ummm...
'だから、なんだっていうのよ！'='Then, what is that?!'
I think the feeling is "What is a matter I'm with Miya-san?! It is not related to seminar!"
Is it same feeling?

>>5626

>どきどきしちゃうし、うれしいけれど、でもダメ！　それは一学生としては、大問題よ！
>#Sure you make my heart flutter, and you make me happy, but I can’t allow this! This is a huge problem for a single student to have!

Ummmmmmmmmm.
sample1>This is a huge problem for you as only a student!
sample2>This is your serious trouble, you are also one student (and you have to have another friends)
sample3>Sure you make my heart flutter, and you make me happy [as my lover], but I can’t allow this [for you as one student]! ...
頑張ったけど、あまりうまくいかない。

#About my PC trouble,
#I'm trying to rescue date then HDD copying secter by secter. It took over 10 hours for 80GB HDD duplication and there are many broken sectors.
#頑張ったけどダメかもしれない。

I registered the wiki.
My English is broken and I won't touch the edited English scripts, this condition is still truth.
But I can help reflecting BBS to wiki, I can upload Japanese transcribe direct to wiki.
Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

>>5630

>I suppose the top student is I rather than Yuuna at St. Michael's.

I see, it makes perfect sense to me now. I've amended the wiki page again.

>"大東京ゼミナール" is a (imaginary) cramming school name.

Is ゼミナーる the same as 塾?
The word "Seminar" makes me think of 専門家会議. That's why I referred to it as an "event."
Is this more like a regular school that takes place during the summer?

>'だから、なんだっていうのよ！'='Then, what is that?!'
>I think the feeling is "What is a matter I'm with Miya-san?! It is not related to seminar!"
>Is it same feeling?

I think this has the same feeling.

"Who cares about that" = "Who cares about Miya" = "Miya is not important. (Only the seminar is important)."

>>5631

>それは一学生としては、大問題よ！

Why is it 一学生 instead of 学生?
Is it to emphasize this is not a problem Miya can solve on her own?
「一人で解けない大問題」？

>PC trouble

しっかり…

>Is ゼミナーる the same as 塾?
>The word "Seminar" makes me think of 専門家会議

Generally "seminar(Germany)" means cramming event, I thought. And Japanese 「セミナー／ゼミナール／ゼミ」 means so.
From E-J dictionary, ((米))専門家会議 だそうです。
(Is it a specialist group? like a task force? Is it major meaning in US?)
Except for local(??) meaning, (大学、大学院の）研究科・研究室、集中講義 from e-progressive E-J dictionary.
And in case of 外来語(imported words) sometimes it is strange. 「ゼミナール(from German pronunciation)」 is a little different from 「セミナー（from English)」, just like "sister" and "seour" Oneesama. :-)
Especially 「大東京ゼミナール」 probably refer to famous real 塾(cramming school) 「代々木ゼミナール Yoyogi Seminar」.

>Is this more like a regular school that takes place during the summer?

Yes. To prepare to entering exam. Silly learning system.

>一学生

I think "one" is just only emphasis here.
The feeling is ... what to say...

>You are a genius and my lover, but you are also one student.
>Then it is serious for you as only a student.

Can you understand from this explanation?
#This is hard exam of my native language. (; ;)

>>5640

>Seminar

I think this is my deficiency.

I always pictured a seminar as a large group of people in an auditorium or other large space, listening to a lecturer in a passive way (listening only, no discussion).
専門家は教えて、生徒は聞くだけと思った。

But the English dictionary defines a seminar as the opposite of that.
"A small group of students, as in a university, engaged in advanced study and original research under a member of the faculty and meeting regularly to exchange information and hold discussions."

So it seems to have the same meaning of 集中講義. I just misunderstood the English meaning.

>You are a genius and my lover, but you are also one student.

Why "one student"?
Is it different from
"You are a student"?

I understand that Risa is separating Miya as her lover from Miya as a student.

>Sure you make my heart flutter, and you may make me happy, but I can’t allow this!
>This is a major problem for a student to have!

璃紗は恋人の美夜と学生の美夜を分ける。
恋人の美夜は璃紗をうれしくさせれ、でも学生美夜としては大問題がある。

But I still don't quite understand the nuance of 一 (except to say that Miya is isolated - a lone student?).

>5641

>Seminar

>So it seems to have the same meaning of 集中講義. I just misunderstood the English meaning.

大きな塾の夏期講習は、ほとんど集中講義と同じ形式です。In case of big cramming school, the summer seminar is almost same style as 集中講義(Intensive course(?))

>Sure you make my heart flutter, and you may make me happy, but I can’t allow this!
>This is a major problem for a student to have!

Translation itself is OK, but,

>But I still don't quite understand the nuance of 一 (except to say that Miya is isolated - a lone student?).

Limited to this statement, 一(one) is not include the meaning "Miya is alone" at all.
一学生【として】、ひとりの学生として、学生のひとりとして
... as an individual student / as one of the students, (<- Is this English?)
# I remember the summer seminar at "Yoyogi Seminar" in high school 3rd year.
# I was very bad at English then I attended. (Xxx force me to attend) ... nightmare.

>>5645

>学生のひとりとして
>as an individual student / as one of the students

I believe I understand now. Both of these sound fine.

>大きな塾の夏期講習は、ほとんど集中講義と同じ形式です

Thanks, I'll probably update the translation again now that I have a better understanding of 夏期講習＆ゼミナール.

日本人はほんとに夏休み中にそんなに勉強する？
アメリカ学生の中には夏休み宿題が不当と考えている。

I've now posted my translation of episode 6 on the wiki.
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_06

>>5648

Thank you for ep6 translation.
I think it is OK. There is no tsukkomi point.

>>5646

>日本人はほんとに夏休み中にそんなに勉強する？
>アメリカ学生の中には夏休み宿題が不当と考えている。

するんです。
I think one reason is because of Japanese school year starting from April.
Students must be belong to some school's some year even during summer holiday.
Another reason, it is said Japanese universities/colleges are very difficult to enter, easy to graduate.
High school students study hard to prepare to entering exam even in summer.
Then, many gags are made from the situation that 夏休みの最後の日になんにも宿題ができてない。助けてドラえもん！！

Episode 7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VE6iBdrdz0

I've posted ep7 Japanese transcribe on the wiki directly.
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_07

I probably won't have a chance to look at episode 7 until after the holidays.

I recovered the PC. Then 頑張ってみる for rough translation ep7.

I've now posted rough translation of ep7 on the wiki.
As usual... my English is not English, then this is very rough version.
Please check and edit.

Episode 8: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6z8MqNMxC8

I've now posted rough translation of ep8 on the wiki.
As usual... my English is not English, then...:-)
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_08
I can't find good way to translate Risa's
「もう、もうもうもう、もーーう！」

Episode 9: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-gQdv420X0

>>5721 -- SORRY FOR THE OFFTP --
But, Kuma, if it is not english, then what's your mother language? (:

Now, I've uploaded ep9 Japanese transcribe.
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_09

>>5748
My native language is Japanese and I'm living in Japan.
Yuri project is interesting from Japanese point of view. :-)

Episode 10: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUl9FmiWjeQ

I've uploaded now.
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_10

I uploaded at wiki.
I'm still thinking how to treat Risa's 「もうもう、もーう」

I've upload the rough translation of ep10.
That is final~~~~

At the fact, there should be one more ep of Risa Miya Theater, that was bonus CD from sofmap.
But I think it is belong to the game full version. Then I obey Yurinyurin's guideline and AXYPB's indication, I won't touch it.

>>5797
Thank you very much for your work. Saluki, I would like to ask again for your input on the edited scripts so I can prepare translated versions of the videos.

If you have this CD, I would suggest waiting until a decision is made on the license. I would then ask for it to be translated regardless of the decision. Can you determine when this story takes place relative to the visual novel?

>>5704
I've updated the translation of episode 7.
Your first pass was helpful, KumaIchigo.

I thought I heard one place where the transcription didn't match the audio though:
At 3:36
それなら二つ作らなくていいでしょ => それなら二つ作らなくて済むでしょ?

Also, one part I understand how to translate, but don't understand Miya's meaning:

>普段がまじめな優等生キャラだから、料理とか、できないと思ってたわ。

How come Miya expects まじめな優等生は料理できない? Shouldn't an upstanding student be able to cook as well?

>I'm still thinking how to treat Risa's 「もうもう、もーう」

もう can be translated lots of different ways.
Geeze.
Sheesh.
Honestly.
Good grief.
Come on.
Any exclamation of exasperation will do.
In episode 6 I even translated 「もうもうもう～！」 as "No, no, no!"
Sometimes I also leave it untranslated and just try to show the exasperation in some other way.

>>5737
I've updated the translation of episode 8.

I'm not sure I understand what the ベストカップル会合 is. At first I thought it was the event where the best couple was selected, but then Risa says 「でも、この話、ベストカップルの会合の時には言わないでよ」 which makes it sound like there's another one coming up.

>>5805 ep7
Thank you Ralen.

>それなら二つ作らなくていいでしょ => それなら二つ作らなくて済むでしょ?

Yes, that's right.

>普段がまじめな優等生キャラだから、料理とか、できないと思ってたわ。
>How come Miya expects まじめな優等生は料理できない? Shouldn't an upstanding student be able to cook as well?

I also feel it's curious, I ask my otaku friends about it.
They say, if a perfect girl has a weak point, it will be moe point.
A perfect class representative is bad cook, or she can't swim, or she fears of heights, then they are moe. ...???

>「もうもうもう」

Thank you for teaching.
Unn, nuance ... It's difficult to express what Risa want to explain.

>>5819

>I'm not sure I understand what the ベストカップル会合 is. ...

ん？ haven't you played Maidens of Michael yet?
In the VN, the selected 5 couples become a group like "event executive committee" and they are called 「ベストカップル/Best Couple(s)」.
It is their group name then "best couple" does not mean top one of the couple.
They are gathering almost everyday for their task, it's called 「ベストカップルの会合/a meeting of "Best Couple(s)"」.

>>5827
ほとんどエロゲームを遊ばない…

>It is their group name then "best couple" does not mean top one of the couple.

I was afraid that was the case. I'll have to review the previous episodes to change the translations then. I always thought "Best Couple" meant the best couple in the school. Not an assembly of multiple couples.

What do they do at these meetings? Plan world domination through yuri?

One other thing I'm curious about (kind of unrelated). In the character descriptions on Yurin Yurin's website, it says Risa is heir to a foreign company. 「外資系企業令嬢」. But in Risa Miya Theater, it always sounds like Miya is the rich girl while Risa is the commoner.

>>5828

>What do they do at these meetings? Plan world domination through yuri?

According to the synopsis of Maidens of Michael, this committee plans school events such as those seen therein. As Kuma Ichigo noted, they were selected for their prominence within the school and their combined influence within their respective student bodies, but the details as to how that came to be will have to be explained by him.

Incidentally, I'm not sure if this is relevant, but in the bonus track of the drama CD Kaede-chan Super Mode, Sara says 「百合は世界を救うのです！」 which can be loosely interpreted as "yuri saving the world" or "yuri making the world go round". This was the same line used to promote Music Box of Memories. It appears that this line has been elevated to a motto of sorts as a result of the success of this series since the drama CD's release in 2009.

>>5830

>According to the synopsis of Maidens of Michael, this committee plans school events such as those seen therein.

Even though I translated that synopsis, I never really got that until now.

>it seemed they would have to stick it out through the coming holidays of Christmas and Valentine’s Day along with four other couples as the committee members for various events.

I never made the connection that all five couples were members of the same "Best Couple's" committee, but rather I assumed Risa and Miya were the sole "Best Couple," while the other four couples were members of various other committees.

>>5751
Episode 9 is updated.

>>5838
Thank you Ralen.
...Ep6-9, All sentences are revised, am I helpful? Is it easier when no first pass?
Anyway,

> the Best Couples

Please teach me is it enough to explain the 「ペストカップル」committee?
ベスト is not equal the best の日本語の方がおかしいので、教科書ではわからない。私がアメリカにいたのは20年前。

>>5828 ,5830, 5832

>ほとんどエロゲームを遊ばない…

I also haven't until I met AXYPB and Kamibukuro. I called 泥沼に引きずり込まれた by them. ... I have no regret.

>it says Risa is heir to a foreign company. 「外資系企業令嬢」.

That is not mentioned in the VN. It is usual the initial settings are ignored...www
Another case 「外資『系』企業」is usually "the company which foreign capital contributed" and the top is the employed president. Then, 「令嬢」is not always here.

>What do they do at these meetings? Plan world domination through yuri?

I think it's almost correct. ... anyway,
As AXYPB said, they've been planing Christmas, St. Valentain's day and many school events.

>they were selected for their prominence within the school and their combined influence within their respective student bodies

Horaisen Rena-sensei made it school official event and they are selected by students' votes.
And they are officially appointed "the Best Couples" school event executive committee.
They hold additional post. Yuuna and Nanami are environmental management committee and Yuuna is the de facto president of student government. Risa, Kaede, Shizuku are class representative. But they did the both task, they became very busy.

>>5843

>...Ep6-9, All sentences are revised, am I helpful? Is it easier when no first pass?

You are helpful. Although I felt the need to revise nearly all the sentences to make them sound more natural in English, your first pass was very helpful in places where I misinterpreted a sentence, or where I had difficulty understanding the meaning of something.

>Please teach me is it enough to explain the 「ペストカップル」committee?

この意味がよく分からない、でも今は「ベストカップル会合」がかなり分かってる。「ベストカップル」の説明は充分。

>私がアメリカにいたのは20年前。

すごい。日本国には行ったことないけど、行くつもりです…

>It is usual the initial settings are ignored...www

It also says Risa's mother is English.

>>5790
Episode 10 is updated.

It's kind of a relief to be done now.

>>5843
>>5880

Thanks for your hard work.

>>5880
Thank you very much Ralen.
I'm in bed ぜんそくにやられました。
Please wait to read ep10.

>>5880
Ep10
Only one point.

>紗良に甘いだけよ
>Sara is the only one I spoil like this.

It Is okay but nuance is ...

1. 私はそんな優しい人間ではなくて、ただ紗良だけに甘いのよ。
2. 私がこんなに甘くするのは紗良だけよ（というほど紗良が好き）

The main meaning is 1, and 2 is leaked from Kaede.
Is it same feeling?

Thank you very much Ralen and all.
I think all episodes are ready to make subtitle.

>>5939
I think the nuance is the same, but someone else can offer their opinion.

>1.私はそんな優しい人間ではなくて、ただ紗良だけに甘いのよ。

I'm not that much of a kind person, I'm just sweet to Sara.

>2.私がこんなに甘くするのは紗良だけよ（というほど紗良が好き）

(I like her so much that) Sara is the only one I'm this sweet to.

>>5945
Thank you I understand.

>Sara is the only one I spoil like this.

is enough.

To AXYPB
I think TLC and editing are done.

Maidens of Michael get Moe Game Award 2013, Dec.,2012 Month-long prize.
http://moe-gameaward.com/monthly/index.html
Yurinyurin's comment by Risa and Miya is below.

12月受賞タイトル　『その花びらにくちづけを　ミカエルの乙女たち』
●メーカーからのコメント

璃紗　「こんにちは、ゆりんゆりんです♪
　　　　皆さんのおかげで『その花びらにくちづけを　ミカエルの乙女たち』が
　　　　萌えゲーアワード、１２月の月間賞を頂きました。
　　　　投票して頂いた皆さん、本当にありがとうございました」
美夜　「………………」
璃紗　「ねぇ……なにかしゃべってよ、美夜」
美夜　「ふふん、まるで人がゴミのようね」
璃紗　「ちょっとお！？　ここはお礼を言うところでしょう？」
美夜　「イヤよ、そんな殊勝なノリ。第一このわたくしにできると思って？」
璃紗　「うぅ……無理っぽいわね」
美夜　「そもそも璃紗、アナタはこのわたくしだけの事だけを考えていればいいの」
璃紗　「み、美夜……こんな所で、だめ……ん」
美夜　「ふふふ、こうしてわたくし達のゆりんゆりんな所を見せつけてあげる事、
　　　　それが最高のお礼になると思わなくて？」
璃紗　「だめぇ、そ、そんな可愛いキスで誤魔化されたり……あぁ、し、しないんだからぁ……ちゅ」

Rough translation.

Risa:「Hello, we are Yurinyurin♪
Thanks to everyone, 『A Kiss for the Petals - Maidens of Michael』get the Moe Game Award the month-long prize in December.
Thank you very much for your votes」
Miya:「......」
Risa:「Well ... speak some, Miya」
Miya:「Aha, some human garbage」 # from "Tonari no Totoro"
Risa:「Hey! You have to say thanks here, right?」
Miya:「I refuse, such a praiseworthy mood. What on earth, do you think I can do?」
Risa:「Uh ... it seems impossible」
Miya:「Anyway Risa, you should consider only me, that's all」
Risa;「Miya ... in such a place ... no ...mm」
Miya:「Hehehe, we display our yurinyurin in this way, that is the best gratitude, don't you think so?」
Risa:「N-no ... s-such a lovely kiss ... I'm never cheated by ... ah, a-at all! ... chp」

>>6038

>Miya:「Aha, some human garbage」 # from "Tonari no Totoro"

Isn't that from 天空の城ラピュタ (Castle in the Sky)?

>>6038
Can you explain more about this award?

>>6041
Oh, That is right. Raputa. orz

>>6042
From official site (sorry, this is by google translation)
More information are in official site but it is written in Japanese.
http://moe-gameaward.com/faq/index.asp

Ｑ．萌えゲーアワードとは？
年間に発売されたゲームタイトル(「18禁」「E15」「E12」「全年齢」を含む)について、もっとも優れている作品をユーザーの投票によって表彰するものです。
「萌えゲーアワード」は、販売店、メーカー、雑誌社、イベント会社、製造会社の協賛を得て加盟メーカーの有志による「萌えゲーアワード実行委員会」によって運営されております。

Q. What is the Moe Game Award?
Game titles that have been released in the year, you are the ones that award by a vote of users that work best.(Including the "all ages" "E15" "E12" "R18")
"GAME Award Moe" has been operated by volunteers of the manufacturer by member "Executive Committee GAME Award Moe" getting sponsors dealer, manufacturer, magazines, company events, and manufacturing company.

>>6042
To AXYPB
Can you introduce at your site?

>>6047
I would like some history of this award to go with it.

About Moe Game Award

This is rough translation of wikipedia Japan. (This is almost as google translation's automatic output)
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%90%8C%E3%81%88%E3%82%B2%E3%83%BC%E3%82%A2%E3%83%AF%E3%83%BC%E3%83%89

[Moe Game Award (from wikipedia Japan)]

Moe GAME Award is excellent Moe Game title will be awarded. The award is sponsored by Moe Game Award Executive Committee.
(Wikipedia's article is only mentioned about adult games (Hentai games) but now it is included for all age games)

[Summary]

>Is operated by volunteers of the manufacturer by member "Executive Committee GAME Award" Moe getting sponsors dealer, manufacturer, magazines, company events, and manufacturing company. Under the name "Pretty Game Awards(美少女ゲームアワード）" 2006 will be held from the winner, was first announced in December the same year. Held annually thereafter, 2009 is being held from time to change the name and "Moe GAME Award".

[flow until winning]

*work to be

>The targets of the previous year that participate, September 1 this year from August to the last day, ethics mechanism computer software package system of game titles Pretty finish the examination, which was launched at the production company, will award This work has made an application to join. 2007 than the degree DVDPG titles are subject to a vote.

*primary

>From participation in the work, each elected for each division title four nominations first title as the primary selection. Three titles, the top 3 titles voting results at the official site of user made in advance will be elected them unconditionally. All judges are actually playing for the product selection of the top 10 titles user voting results are discussed in the review committee based on the results of the voting by the judges while, one remaining title is elected.

*selection of

>Users will also be considered, such as voting results by the jury from among the nominated titles, and divisions grand prize winners of the award will be selected.

[Award Past]
*美少女ゲームアワード時代
年度 受賞作品 制作会社
2006年度 この青空に約束を― 戯画
2007年度 遥かに仰ぎ、麗しの PULLTOP
2008年度 G線上の魔王 あかべぇそふとつぅ

*萌えゲーアワード時代
年度 受賞作品 制作会社
2009年度 金賞 真・恋姫†無双 〜乙女繚乱☆三国志演義〜 BaseSon

銀賞 	真剣で私に恋しなさい! 	みなとそふと
銅賞 	ティンクル☆くるせいだーす 	Lillian

2010年度 金賞 黄昏のシンセミア あっぷりけ

銀賞 	戦女神VERITA 	エウシュリー
銅賞 	素晴らしき日々 〜不連続存在〜 	ケロQ

2011年度 金賞 グリザイアの果実 フロントウイング

銀賞 	神採りアルケミーマイスター 	エウシュリー
	カミカゼ☆エクスプローラー! 	クロシェット

2012年度 金賞 この大空に、翼をひろげて PULLTOP

銀賞 	グリザイアの迷宮 	フロントウイング
	真剣で私に恋しなさい!S 	みなとそふと

As noted in the General Discussion thread at >>6517, I have decided to move forward with the releases in Saluki's absence. I've uploaded the first episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO6-Gn1hYS8

The video is currently unlisted. Please provide feedback, and if no issues are found, I will make it public and announce it as our first joint release. The filename for the download will be [YP-PG] Risa-Miya Theater - 01.mkv

>>6546
What fortuitous timing. After weeks of inactivity I just happened to check this thread by chance today.

I think the video is fine, but I would put the title in title case ("Chasing Day by Day" instead of "Chasing day by day").

Also, and this is more of an observation really, is that it was a little distracting at first seeing different fonts in the video from what I've become accustomed to in the English patches of the games.

>>6549
I chose to forgo imitating the fixed-width font used in the visual novels for readability. I can change this if a consensus to do so can be reached.

>>6546
The word wrapping is a bit inconsistent, sometimes sentences go to the end of the frame, sometimes they break in the middle of it, in some instances it's both (like the first frame).

Also

>There's nothing that I don't know about history of humanity.

I think there's a 'the' missing here.

>>6554

>The word wrapping is a bit inconsistent

That's a good point. I didn't even notice it until you mentioned it, but now looking back at the first frame, it's really obvious.

>>6554
>>6556
I changed the word wrapping method in the subtitle script and made manual adjustments for more natural flow. I've uploaded a new version at http://youtu.be/WVRVXFIzP-s

I've also made manual wrapping adjustments to the Japanese version. I've encoded it for preview purposes on YouTube, but I don't plan to publish the series with Japanese subtitles this way; they will remain in the MKV.
http://youtu.be/KQBhh6iagDk

>>6561
It seems okay.
For my curiosity, how do you feel Japanese historical names' list? Does it interfere the story?

（About Kusaka Gensui: Miya(Akimoto Nerine) pronounced as "Kuzaka".
But Kusaka is correct name as Ralen indicated, subtitle is okay, I think.)

>>6566
It's good job.
(If you release it, font ... and word wrap.....wwwww. Different language same trouble, that's funny.
If there were requests of Japanese version, I'd modify your subtitle using Japanese standard font.)

>>6580
I used MS Gothic UI, a system font, for the Japanese text. Do you have a suggestion for a different font?

For historical names, I think the difficulty and obscurity of the questions is communicated well enough.

I've released the first episode: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/02/28/a-kiss-for-the-petals-risa-miya-theater-01-english-translation/

Thank you for the release.

Font:
Original game is using MS Mincho for speaker, MS Gothic (not MS UI Gothic) for text, probably.
I think MS Gothic is more clear and same feeling as original.
(Japanese MS UI Gothic is useful <9pt small, I think)

Word wrap: (Basic rules)
・Originally, the Japanese, there is no concept of word wrap. Line ends are aligned right. You can usually ignore the continuous of word or sentence.
・However, there are illegal characters that should not be at the line beginning.

>、。ゃゅょっ」...

・「」 brackets should be new line. (Usually, after the brackets is also new line, but it is not so severe rule.)
・If European word or numeric characters are in sentence, then the word is wrapping.
Aegisub is not adopted for the Japanese line beginning illegal chalacters.

>>6595
MS Gothic was more problematic for me when I first inserted the Japanese text; it would not wrap automatically at all. I selected MS UI Gothic as it allowed me to insert more text per line.

Using these rules, I can change the Japanese subtitles to use MS Gothic, but all of the text will have to be broken manually, and thus it will take longer to process. Will this be an acceptable compromise?

>>6599
I understand. I've forgotten about when I made first subtitle.
You are right, UI Gothic is better.
I choose Aegisub for English textile, I knew it's not useful for Japanese subtext.
Is the quality of Japanese-sub necessary?
(I can not download MKV from your site now.
"file not exist")

>>6600
I have discovered that Aegisub only wraps with normal spaces. Because the Japanese text does not use spaces, it does not attempt to wrap any text. I've also corrected the link.

>>6601
Thank you, I get mkv file.
Yes, word wrap depends on normal space. It's not only Aegisub's problem.
It's also problem of media player or video encoder's Ass implementation.
Then, I found only Japanese software that can treat Japanese text formatting. And they are not useful for European language. XD

>>6602
Can you write a short message for Japanese readers about the Japanese subtitles? Since your transcription is included along with the message window of the visual novel, I'd like to communicate to them that they can download the MKV to enjoy Risa-Miya Theater as if it were a visual novel recording.

>>6603
My message window drawn by character is just testing. It's a kind of joke...
And I made it before Maidens of Michael was released. Then it depend on old fuguriya style.
= There is a command list at the right of the text window.

I checked Michael's game again.
To formatting Japanese using AXYPB's message window.
AXYPB氏の作ったメッセージウインドウを使って、ミカエルの乙女達と同様な表示をするための目安

At first, set the wrap style = no wrap, or insert "(\q2)" to each line. Then \n or \N force line break. (When I tested, right margin is not enough to formatting)
I guess it is not standard method, I'll study Aegisub.

1. Text font is probably MS gothic [Monospace].

　文章のフォントはMS ゴシック。右下影。

2. Speaker's name is probably MS Mincho [Monospace] and larger than the text font.
　話者のフォントはMS 明朝。白の縁取り＋右下影。
テキストの通常フォントより少し大きい。

3. There are 3 font sizes.
Standard: 24 characters x 4 lines.
Middle: 20 chr. x 3 lines.
Large: 15 chr. x 2 lines.
Right margin is up to â–¼ mark.
　テキストのフォントサイズは3通り。
テキストウインドウで、右下の▼の上にかからないところまでに納まるように調整する。

　1.通常 24文字×4行
　2.中　20文字×3行
　3.大　15文字×2行
となるように、調整する。

4. Text formatting ... sorry Japanese only.
・モノローグの場合
1行目の行頭を一字開ける。（行頭に全角スペースを置く）
行頭禁則処理は、追い出し。

・「セリフ」の場合
1行目の行頭は開けない。"「"で書き始める。
2行目以降の行頭は1文字開ける。（行頭に全角スペース）
　このため、1行目の"「"の真下は開いている。

In addition: Aegisub setting and script.

Word wrap off:
File -> Script Property -> Wrap style = 2: No word wrap, both \n and \N line break

Font: MS ゴシック 24pt for Japanese and European both.
(Not MS P ゴシック)

For example, ep1 first line.

>Monologue style(screen shot):

\h\hまったく。どこへ行ったのよもう。空き教室にも視\N聴覚室にも保健室にも隣の校舎にもいないんだから。\Nこの中庭なら、ベンチでまったりしているって思った\Nのに。

>Dialogue style:

「まったく。どこへ行ったのよもう。空き教室にも視\N\h\h聴覚室にも保健室にも隣の校舎にもいないんだか\N\h\hら。この中庭なら、ベンチでまったりしているって\n思ったのに」

#Normal space is half width of kanji space, then "\h\h" is one kanji space width.
mmmmm I want some formatting tool.

I've encoded episode 2. Unfortunately, the wiki is unavailable and I have not been able to register at the backup wiki at http://ypwiki.byethost7.com/doku.php?id=wiki:michael_no_otome_tachi, so I cannot commit the changes I made there. The script here is largely based on Ralen's retranslation with some edits from me. After your review, I will make the video public and publish the MKV.
http://youtu.be/i9rVWbkIc4E

>>6631
I'm working on the Japanese script using your rules to emulate Maidens of Michael. Should I repeat this for episode 1 and re-release it?

>>6666
>>6668

Subtitle: It's good. The points we discussed are included.

Japanese textile:
It seems good.
And please use large letter by your feeling.

>>6666
It looks good to me as well.

>>6669
I've created an encode for the monospace Japanese script. Please review, and I'll re-release the first episode with this style as well: http://youtu.be/0boDxGlZzeY

>>6674
Thank you for hard work.
Textile is good and almost same as Maidens of Michael's.

Ep.2 check:

These are monologue, listed below.
I think monologue form (no 「」) is better. How do you think?
(I should write correctly at first transcribe, sorry. I didn't think about Japanese subtitle)

>1:46 - 2:07

璃紗：
放っておいてオーラが全開だわ。
　……
さぼり魔な美夜さんを更正させないと。
美夜：
ふっ、璃紗さんの考え、ダダ漏れね。

>2:46-

うっ。さすが孤独の達人、綾瀬美夜。
一筋縄ではいかないわね。

>3:36

美夜：
璃紗さん、なんか必死ね。うふっ。
……
あら、本当に早いわ。
体育の成績も優秀なのかしら。

>4:07

璃紗
どの口が言うのよ、そのセリフ。

>10:30

璃紗：
もう。逃げ足はいつも速いんだから。……
until end.

The other points:

>2:40

美夜：
「わたくしはここでいいわ」←deleted
「わざわざ人の多いところへ……

## From Reo-ppoi radio ep50, Chinese transration of the Radio already reach to ep. 33 ?! Really?

>>6689
I changed the first two sets of lines here to act as monologue. I believe the rest could be spoken aloud. I also made the correction at 02:37. I'll update the files and publish the episode shortly.

Episode 2: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/03/09/risa-miya-theater-02-en/

>>6692
It's reasonable.

I've encoded episode 3: http://youtu.be/uXIxWIzrfjk

>>6741
I approve, although I feel that KumaIchigo should be included in the translation credit for the remaining episodes (3-10) due to amount of assistance he/she provided.

>>6743
I'll change the credits and upload the new episode shortly.

Episode 3: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/03/13/risa-miya-theater-03-en/

I've encoded episode 4, which introduces minor changes to the subtitle format. In previous encodes, seeking the video will cause the name plate to be lost until the speaking character changes. I've corrected this by duplicating the name subtitles for every line instead of every group of lines. I also changed the fade for the episode title and credits subtitles to properly match the fades to and from black. As this is a minor stylistic update, I plan on updating the previous three episode downloads when I finish subtitling all episodes and release a torrent of them. Should I update the previous downloads as well until then?
http://youtu.be/FdhPpzpiOjs

>>6829
Like you said, it's a minor stylistic thing. It can wait until you make the batch anyway.

>>6829
I agree that it's probably fine to leave minor revisions for a comprehensive upload at the end.

In this episode, Miya's "Yes" is missing at 4:47. In the transcript and translation it's shown as a separate line, but it's brief enough that it could probably be incorporated into the following line, "Just play a little game with me..."

Episode 4: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/03/19/risa-miya-theater-04-en/

I've encoded episode 5: http://youtu.be/xOpS0yceubM

The link to yuriproject.net has been corrected in this episode. Previous episodes will be similarly corrected in the series compilation release.

>>6882
I have a slight modification I'd like to make to the translation script.
At 6:56
"No, I learned the material from this seminar three years ago."
I think it sounds better and makes more sense as
"No, I took the course being offered by this seminar three years ago."

The difference being that she didn't merely study the same material that the seminar will cover, but actually took the same course of instruction that the seminar will be providing.
Aside from that I think it looks good.

Episode 5: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/03/22/risa-miya-theater-05-en/

>>6886
I agree. It's more clear.

Rika-chama and I went through and QCed the first five episodes of this series. Updates include typesetting fixes (better transforms, positioning, etc.), timing fixes (lots of lines had no lead-in, line splits added where applicable), phrasing improvements (editan'), and error fixes (missing names, typos, YP link, etc.). Here's a link to the updated scripts:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20Batch%20Scripts.zip

If anyone contributed and wants their name added to the credits, drop a post here and that can be done. Also, if there are any hackers lurking around, ProgerXP will not be updating ArcTool to decrypt the VN that follows these vids. If anyone with the right skill set wants to try to help out, let us know.

>>6972
I think a lot of the phrasing changes are mostly trivial.

I also disagree with many of the changes to Miya's dialogue, since wording which I used specifically to make her sound more formal and polite has now been altered to more casual speech ("Yes" changed to "Yeah" and the like.)

One change in particular I did like was in Episode 4 though.
"How did I let myself get carried away into having tea" -> "How did I let myself get roped into having tea."

Other notes:

>{"bears" repeating... stuffed bear.... icwutudidther}

Who said it was a stuffed bear? It's just identified as a stuffed animal.

>{V123: neither of these things seem like proper nouns to me} (Last Ticket prize and Second Best Lottery)

Maybe Last Ticket prize doesn't need to be capitalized, but Second Best Lottery is a specific reference to Banpresto's Ichiban Kuji ("Best Lottery" or "No. 1 Lottery").

>{baumkuchen is German, no real reason not to TL, literal is "tree cake," but for meaning "layer cake" is better}

I disagree with this on the grounds that baumkuchen is a specific kind of dessert, and not just generic cake.

You wouldn't translate "crème brûlée" to "pudding" just because the name is French.

In summary, although I appreciate the effort and welcome you to point out and correct any errors you happen to find in the translation scripts, I feel that these revisions (to the dialogue at least, I can't speak to the timing changes) were at best insignificant, and at worst actually changed the feeling I was trying to convey or preserve with the characters' dialogue.

>I think a lot of the phrasing changes are mostly trivial.

Editing is all about tweaking things to flow smoother. They may seem inconsequential to some, but imho it helps a lot. There was also a bunch of incorrect grammar across the vids — like comma splices — that was fixed.

>I also disagree with many of the changes to Miya's dialogue, since wording which I used specifically to make her sound more formal and polite has now been altered to more casual speech ("Yes" changed to "Yeah" and the like.)

Changed her one "yeah" line in script 4 back to "yes." I usually default to a bit casual for students, but I know that some of the SH girls speak very formally.

>Maybe Last Ticket prize doesn't need to be capitalized, but Second Best Lottery is a specific reference to Banpresto's Ichiban Kuji ("Best Lottery" or "No. 1 Lottery").

That's pretty much what I needed to know. Capitalized it again since it references a specific lottery and isn't just saying it's second best in a generic way.

>I disagree with this on the grounds that baumkuchen is a specific kind of dessert, and not just generic cake.

I know that translating foods is always a point of contention. I still stand by this since as far as I know, unlike crème brûlée, baumkuchen is not a well-known dessert in the English-speaking audience. Needing to open google up just to know what they're talking about is a distraction, so I think it's a good idea to keep this change.

Thanks for the feedback, Ralen. I'm not trying to interfere with anyone's work; just trying to use my years of fansubbing experience to make these releases as polished as possible. Also, if you give me your email here or on irc I can add you to the dropbox folder where I've been keeping the scripts and vids.

Updated script 4:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2004-final%5Bfixes%5D.ass

>>6990
If you insist on reviewing the scripts for QC, I've updated the wiki pages for episodes 6-10 with the content of the documents that Ralen sent me. They are the most recent versions available, and what I am using to create the subtitled versions.

http://wiki.yuriproject.net/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_06
http://wiki.yuriproject.net/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_07
http://wiki.yuriproject.net/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_08
http://wiki.yuriproject.net/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_09
http://wiki.yuriproject.net/michael_no_otome_tachi:risa-miya_theater_10

I can't really do a great job qcing anything before a timed script is prepared. I'm happy to take a look at them then. Hope it doesn't spoil anything from the VN; I know the latter five take place after.

>>6972

I'm not English native speaker and I can't feel the nuances, my role is rough translator in this series.

But I disagree that,

> I usually default to a bit casual for students, but I know that some of the SH girls speak very formally.

Some Sonohana girls speak too much formally speaking, that IS Sonohana. In original Japanese sentences, even if subject or object is omitted, readers can recognize who is speaking or mentioned.
I can't feel exactly the best balance of polite and casual, but I hope, readers should know who is speaking only from the text.
Original Japanese text is so.
(I know sonohana is not a literature masterpiece, so 'I hope')

About baumkuchen and some special words, we already discussed in this board. They have each special meanings but it is no meaning for non-Japanese readers. I can't decide which is better. That is also a issue of balance.
If I were Yurinyurin's producer, I'd take baumkuchen. :-)

I and probably Ralen also take effort to keep original atmosphere ... tendency. I can't judge the best balance but I hope Risa and Miya are clearly different at speaking.

>About textile (To AXYPB)

Atelier's message window:
1.Proportional font.
2.No indent. (Both dialogue and monologue)
3.Font is only one size.
4. 3 lines x 29 characters width of kanji(= 29 chr. of mono space font) .
I think you can determine 1 line = 29chraracters automatically except for inhibited characters. It is easier to set the stile formatting.

>>7002
Why do you need a timed script to check the accuracy of the translation?

>>7003
Thank you for your findings concerning the text of the new visual novel. However, as this series is linked to Maidens of Michael, I will keep the text styling unchanged.

>>7008
In my case, it's easy to compare speech and text to check what she is really speaking than to compare text and text.

I've encoded episode 6: http://youtu.be/EPvGMHeGeiw

Here is the script for QC purposes: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?c9484ezx8828mfa

>>7047
There were some typos in this episode's script which made it into the final subtitles.

The first one I found is at 5:13.
"You're not own your own" should be "You're not on your own."

The second one is at 5:56.
"for life the real world" should be "for life in the real world."

I didn't notice any others.

>>7008
Virus123 doesn't do any TLC, he needs it to check the quality of the subs, i.e. if the lead-in/lead-out is correct, if the subtitles are saying something different than what is actually being said, etc. This is typical for Editing and QC in fansubs. The VN community isn't really used to it b/c they don't use aegisub for VNs and lining up the subs with what is being said isn't an issue w/ VNs

>>7053

>if the subtitles are saying something different than what is actually being said

Isn't that a translation check?

>Why do you need a timed script to check the accuracy of the translation?

What anon said. I'm not a TL; I'm everything else. The words are only one element of the final release. If the words aren't timed well or don't match the voices well as far as length and inflection, the final release falls flat regardless of how great the translation is. Also, checking the typesetting for each vid is important. So far, I've had to change the transform timings for the end credits on each script, and the positioning wasn't the same for vid 6.

tl;dr: To qc properly, you need something close to the final product to work with.

>There were some typos in this episode's script which made it into the final subtitles.

Fixed.

Vid 6 workraw (i.e. not AXYPB's final encode):
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2006%20WR.mkv

I'll post a revised script after Rika-chama gets the chance to look through it.

Risa Miya Theater episodes are originally movie, then I used Aegisub. This is special case.
Timing set procedure is just like making karaoke or anime subtitle. It is far from VN scripts.
If it is not translation check, it is easier to remake time code only from Japanese speaking and Japanese text.
Ep1, I did it.

>>7060
I would like an update on the progress of QC.

>>7175
Sorry it took so long. I'm done w/ 6

(I-It's not like I QC'd this for YOU or a-anything. I-I just wanted to get it done so it wouldn't be hanging over my head. Don't get the wrong idea or anything!!!

baka....)

Script 6:

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2006-final.ass

>>7187, 7189
I compared before and after video.
I understand what you did. Thank you, it is good job.

>>7189
Again, I have to say I find most of the alterations to the dialogue are either trivial, or they negatively impact the tone or meaning being conveyed by the translation (primarily in changes to Miya's dialogue from refined sounding speech to more standard or casual sounding speech).

>Ever the upstanding class representative.

to

>You're always the upstanding class representative, aren't you?

for example, or

>I have a reason far more important than that.

to

>I have a far more important reason than that.

Other changes I feel actually alter the meaning somewhat, such as

>Couples are always causing trouble for one another, aren't they?

to

>Couples are always bothering each other, aren't they?

or

>As long as that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder.

to

>Well, If that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder.

One change I did like, however, was the change from

>There you go making random assertions again.

to

>There you go making blanket statements again.

Also

>be more tsun, I dare you

Don't you mean "be more tsun, I dere you"?

>Ever the upstanding class representative.
>You're always the upstanding class representative, aren't you?

This is a stock translation. The modification has the same meaning but is phrased in a way that people actually speak in English.

>Couples are always causing trouble for one another, aren't they?

>Nobody is bothered by it{skipping class}. Nobody but you, that is.
>So you don't mind bothering me?!
>Couples are always bothering each other, aren't they?

Again, this is a 'way that people speak' issue. People are annoyed or bothered by things, not troubled by them. The words aren't the same, but the meaning remains in this context.

>Oh, I know! It bothers the teachers.
>That isn't true. I'm at the top of all my classes.
>As long as that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder.
>Well, If that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder.

I get what you're saying here. I think the original is too conditional, though. Makes it sound like she might stop being top of her class at any point, which doesn't seem likely. Also, hurr typo. I'm thinking "Well, since that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder." Using "since" adds in that conditional context by saying it's true Risa can't complain about Miya's study habits but if her top-of-the-class status were to change, she could bother her about studying again.

>>7202
Dunno about all the others but:

>As long as that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder.
>to
>Well, If that's true, it's not like I can say you need to study harder.

They mean the exact same thing to me, and I had to re-read the first one a couple of times before I got what she was trying to say. the 2nd one is more clear.

>I dere you

<groan>

>>7214

>Ever the upstanding class representative.
>This is a stock translation.

This is not a stock translation. Granted, I don't know many people who talk this way in real life, but this sort of phrasing is very common in (American) writing.
("Ever the gentleman, isn't he?" "Ever the optimist, aren't you?" and so on.)

>Couples are always bothering each other, aren't they?
>Again, this is a 'way that people speak' issue. People are annoyed or bothered by things, not troubled by them.

First of all, the translation was "causing trouble for" not "troubled by."
Second of all, in keeping with Miya's refined speech, it wouldn't be at all out of place for her to say she was "troubled by" something.
Finally, I think there's a very big difference in the nuance and tone between
"Couples are always bothering one another"
and
"Couples are always causing trouble for one another."

>>7214
>>7215

>As long as that's true
>If that's true

The first one is a statement of fact.
It's already established that she's getting good grades, and "as long as" that continues to be the case, she doesn't need to study more.

The second one is a supposition.
It's unclear as to whether or not she's getting good grades, but "if" that happens to be the case, she doesn't need to study more.

>I think the original is too conditional, though.

I'm open to suggestions on how to make it sound better, but the original dialogue was conditional.
その事実がある限り -> "For as long as that's true" (or to put it another way, "Until that is no longer true.")

This is why it's not a good idea to rewrite a translation without knowing what the original says.

>>7229
Okay, this is painful to watch.

>This is not a stock translation. Granted, I don't know many people who talk this way in real life, but this sort of phrasing is very common in (American) writing.
>("Ever the gentleman, isn't he?" "Ever the optimist, aren't you?" and so on.)

This IS a stock translation phrase. It's the same as "It can't be helped" or "It's just like <name>". Just because people WRITE that way, doesn't mean the SPEAK that way. You could make an argument for formality, but with THAT particular phrase, it's like gg fansubs trolling on their subtitles. Just don't do it.

>Couples are always bothering each other, aren't they?
>Couples are always causing trouble for one another, aren't they?

I'm sorry, I've been speaking/writing english for a long time now. I'm also native as I was born here in America and have a business degree, so I'm fairly familiar with talking and writing. These 2 phrases, when they're said about people mean the SAME thing. Now, that said, it shouldn't be a big deal b/c I've heard both said about the same amount of time. Now, if you were going with the "trouble" line, I would make it:
"Couples are always causing trouble for each other, aren't they?"
but either is fine.

>The first one is a statement of fact.
>It's already established that she's getting good grades, and "as long as" that continues to be the case, she doesn't need to study more.The second one is a supposition.
>It's unclear as to whether or not she's getting good grades, but "if" that happens to be the case, she doesn't need to study more.

This is simple, kids:
"Because that's true, ......"

>>7266
I'm sorry, I don't want to make a big argument out of this, but I honestly can't believe anyone would think "Ever the (noun), aren't you?" is a stock translation. I can't even imagine what you might be thinking this a stock translation of.
It's not like "It can't be helped" (which is obviously shouganai) or "As expected of" (which is obviously sasuga ni).
This is a very, very, very common English expression. Just google the phrase "ever the * aren't you" with the quotations and asterisk and you'll see numerous examples.
Hell, just google "Ever the upstanding" and you'll still get more than 10 pages worth of results.

I happen to be a native (American) English speaker as well, and I've actually been published in a language arts textbook, so it's not as though I'm unfamiliar with the language.

In the interest of timely releases for this and future episodes, I must ask all parties involved to come to a compromise regarding semantics. I sympathize with the desire to polish the releases as much as possible, but I feel that actual releases are being unnecessarily delayed because of it. Presenting English language credentials to argue one translation choice over another has caused issues here in the past. If you must advocate a particular wording, please find a more objective reason to support it.

I've reviewed the current version in Dropbox and made some changes to it. However, until all members give their support, I cannot publish it with a clear conscience. Again, please find a compromise for word choices as soon as possible.

Ralen, get on rizon if you feel like and we can hash out any lines you disagree on. I'm not trying to fight; getting feedback and going back and forth on a line usually helps figure out the best phrasing.

>>7284
I've deposited the remaining translation scripts into the Dropbox if you want to review them.

Additionally, Ralen and I feel that the current version of the episode 6 script is ready for publication. If no further objections are raised, or if an agreement over the current points cannot be reached within a few days, I will publish it as is. Please make an effort to avoid debates of this nature in the future. Again, while I want to ensure that the translations are optimal, I don't feel that the amount of effort exerted in the above replies is worth the resulting delay.

As far as I'm concerned, the scripts for the remaining episodes are complete, and the only revisions that should be made at this stage are to correct inaccuracies in the translations, or grammatical or typographical errors.

Don't misinterpret this as an ego thing; I'm fully willing to listen to criticism on technical points, but at this late stage in the game nothing is accomplished by having people rewrite the scripts to suit their own personal tastes.

Please realize that English is my first language, and the dialogue I wrote sounded natural to me when I wrote it. If I used a particular word choice, I more than likely had a reason for it.
I'm not trying to say "I'm a native speaker so I'm right and you're wrong," I just want everyone to give me the benefit of the doubt that I have a strong comprehension of what written and spoken English look and sound like.
That said, even within American English, there are regional and dialectical variations, so what sounds natural to me may not sound natural to someone else, and vice-versa.

I don't plan to argue any more points for any of the remaining episodes. As I said, I'm more than willing to discuss technical issues, but the time for arguing semantics has passed. I also don't like the way arguments like these affect me, since I usually can't help but get worked up and stressed about them (in particular responding to posts like >>7266) and I don't like the way that makes me feel.
I already discussed my intentions with AXYPB, and had not planned to visit this thread again, but he said I should at least explain myself here, so there it is.

Episode 6: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/04/11/risa-miya-theater-06-en/

>>7328
Thanks, everyone.

http://yuriproject.net/risa-miya-theater-episode-6/

Phyis can update it with a DLL. Right now it's just mediafire.

Done
http://archive.yuriproject.net/risa-miya_theater_6

I've encoded episode 7: http://youtu.be/jhndhz8XTOo

Here is the script for QC purposes: http://www.mediafire.com/?55z455mzi3arsra

>>7396
Based on the information provided by Kuma Ichigo in >>5827, the dialog at 1:09 should probably be "Declared a Best Couple" instead of "Declared Best Couple" for the sake of clarity.

Comparing to the script on the wiki page for the purposes of proofreading, I noticed there were some revisions to the dialogue. Most of them I approve of, but at 4:31 I feel some meaning is lost.
Miya is emphasizing that her catered lunches are just something that gets delivered to her house, and don't have any kind of personal touch.

Originally:
All I’m bringing with me is something that gets delivered each day.

Currently:
The lunches I bring with me are delivered each day.

Suggested compromise:
The lunches I bring with me are just something that gets delivered each day.

Those are my only comments.

QCed 07:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2007-final.ass

Episode 7: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/04/17/risa-miya-theater-07-en/

I've encoded episode 8: http://youtu.be/INSn549guu0

Here is the script for QC purposes: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ekyxhxzo9lswfh8

>>7590
I made changes to references to Best Couple to imply that it is a collective rather than a single couple chosen by popular vote per >>5827. Please advise if these changes were adequate.

>>7590
>>7593
For the most part I think the modifications are fine, but here are some suggestions for slight alterations I think might sound better.

At 2:39
How did we even get chosen as one of St. Michael's Best Couples anyway?

At 3:14
when compared to others who have been chosen as a Best Couple.

And also, just as a note in advance of the inevitable revisions that are going to be posted, I intentionally had Risa saying the actual words "Boo-hoo-hoo" at 6:57. The reason is that in the Japanese audio she doesn't just make sobbing sounds, she actually says the onomatopoeia for sobbing, "shiku-shiku-shiku."

As a side note unrelated to the translation, I noticed in recent episodes you started offsetting the end credits so that they no longer obscure the original credits. I think this is fine, although in this episode it becomes a little crowded and difficult to read. I honestly don't have an alternative suggestion though, other than going back to the old method of obscuring the credits again.

QCed 08:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2008%5Bfinal%5D.ass

Episode 8: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/04/25/risa-miya-theater-08-en/

I've encoded episode 9: http://youtu.be/Fll3AY7OEcg

Here is the script for QC purposes: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?odt2c9onbnnvhsy

>>7781
At 5:16, I think there was an error in the original translated script.
What excuse I should use to burst into your room?
Should probably have been
What excuse should I use to burst into your room?

That's my only comment for this episode.

QCed 09:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2009-final.ass

Episode 9: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/05/07/risa-miya-theater-09-en/

Due to potential timing issues with episode 10, I've chosen not to encode it until Virus123 examines the timings. Particularly, the first segment has unusually long lead-ins for each line due to four characters being on-screen, and kissing sounds are in the translated scripts, but commented out in the current version of the subtitle file. The credits also need to be re-typeset. Regardless, I've uploaded it here for those who want to review it: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?688h55eoxwa33az

Due to the heavily misaligned timings in the first segment in this episode, I've elected to reconstruct it manually. While examining the timings to determine how to address this issue, Virus123 has edited the first six lines of dialogue.

http://youtu.be/dGMki-7v_D4

The subtitle file has been updated accordingly: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?688h55eoxwa33az

>>8010
I must also note that I plan to make similar corrections for previous episodes before the batch release. For instance, episode 7 does not fade in from black, and I'd like to fix this before the final release.

>>8010
In terms of the subtitles themselves (as opposed to the timings) I have no additional comments for this episode.

QCed 10:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/84412792/%5BYP-PG%5D%20Risa-Miya%20Theater%20-%2010-final.ass

Big props to AXYPB on this one for taking the extra time to fix the terribly timed transitions in the vid.

When this is all done I'm going to create and seed a torrent of all these, so we'll have the direct downloads on Petalsgarden as well as a torrent. ^__^

Kuma Ichigo, some lines for kissing sounds were missing in the Japanese translation for episode 10. Please review the Japanese subtitle script and fill in the missing lines, consisting of "{}". I will release the episode when it is finished.

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zsdbbag04upaxut

Episode 10: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/05/14/risa-miya-theater-10-en/

As noted in the post, for the batch release, I will re-encode the previous episodes to correct flaws in the source material and include QC for the first five episodes.

The final batch release is now available: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2013/05/19/risa-miya-theater-complete/

Individual download links on Petals' Garden have been updated with the new versions in the batch. Please update the downloads here accordingly.

>>8133
Done. http://yuriproject.net/risa-miya-theater-updated-batch-release/

>>8140
Please update the screenshot on the release page with this updated version.

Thank you all again very much for your work.

>>8152
Updated. May need a browser cache refresh to actually show up though.

Man can't someone translate just the Eris-Shizuku route, simply script translation on wiki would be enough. From my limited japanese understanding I could figure that Maidens of Michael have a heartwarming Eris-Shizuku storyline.