>>23238
Looking over it a second time, I noticed a few more things:
01.png
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huff (pic related)
05.png
I-I'll eat later. -> I—I'll eat later. (Hyphen to emdash)
I-I said I'll eat it later! -> I—I said I'll eat it later! (Hyphen to emdash)
Just...hurry up and go to school won't you? -> Just...hurry up and go to school, won't you? (Add comma)
07.png
Ri-Right. It's me... -> Ri—Right. It's me... (Hyphen to emdash)
[...] Today's release of Jump [...] (In the original, the magazine is called ジョンプ, instead of the actual name, ジャンプ. Do you want to retain the bogus spelling, and call it "Jomp" or something?)
08.png
I-I don't know if Jump is sold out or not so! -> I—I don't know if Jump is sold out or not, so! (Hyphen to emdash; add comma. Also, the same Jump/Jomp question.)
Thanks for all your work.