01.png:

Middle panel: The font sizes in XXXX's bubbles are a bit all over the place here, especially "I don't wanna go out in front of people [...]" and "...But I bet that if I said what I actually think, [...]" Those bubbles are kind of packed, so let me offer some alternate translations edited for concision:

人前に出て自分より下手な奴に上から目線でゴチャゴチャ言われたくないし…
I'm not trying to get looked down on and trash talked on stage by bozos who can't beat me

…と思うけど口に出すと面倒くさそう
...But I can't actually say that, it'd be a real shitshow.

Hopefully, you'll be able to use these and bump the font size a couple pts in those balloons so the variance isn't so distracting.

02.png:

I think your suggested change, "That sure is impressive." is fine. If anything, it probably better conveys the capitulatory sarcasm suggested by the illustration.

12.png:

None of my attacks are getting through at all... (This block has a tight left margin. Is there space to move it right? Maybe up a little? Does it look weird if you try to adjust "The way she uses her normals is too good" to give it breathing room on the right?)

13.png:

And he can beat it with side-movement! It's the catn's meow!! (I can tell that it took some work to get this to look as good as it presently does, but it still has a tight left margin. Is it possible to scoot it right a couple pixels?)

14.png:

The construction "Do you want some games" is deliberate, and appropriate in this domain. Players often talk about "getting games" with one another, especially players they don't often have the chance to play. I think it should stay.

Bottom panel: can you make XXXX's bubble overlap the lower text in ZTT's bubble? That would better mimic the original.

15.png:

I guess I missed a spot:

……透は中々腕を上げたね
...You have leveled up, Tooru.

19.png:

...Or rather, (Reduce font size to match "in exchange for getting good, it's like you've lost something")

21.png:

I think your change here is good, but it comes with a caveat: to preserve the parallelism of the list, we have to put everything in the past tense if we change "get" to "got." And I think we should. So the lines should now read:

気の合う仲間だったり
Whether it was a friend you get along with
負けたくないライバルだったり
A rival you don't want to lose to

変な絡み方してくる奴と最終的に仲良くなったり
Or some guy you got mixed up with in some weird way who became your friend in the end.

22.png:

Is the fighting game have not here today? (It feels odd to me to make ZTT's text respect the contour of XXXX's balloon, especially when XXXX isn't trying to cut her off. Is there room to vanilla center-justify the text? If you need to move it up to make it work, I think that's fine.)

23.png

As far as I can tell, "flower arranging" and "flower arrangement" are both accepted terms in the industry. If you like "arrangement" better, I'm not gonna stop you from using it.