Hanamonogatari 4 QC_aS

97f1
I suggest removing "for" here
The turn of phrase might be a bit too archaic

p99f2b1: greetin's -> greetins // I realize we're eliding the g, but the end result is that it looks like we're making it possessive 

99f2
Yer -> your and fer -> for

p99f3b2: 'Causes -> Causes

99f3
Remove the apostrophe in 'Causes
(Technically "It" is being omitted, but it's not part of the word)

99f4
Similar to 97f1, I suggest removing "the" before "day" because it might be just too archaic

100f2
Yer -> your
Proud as peacock -> proud as a peacock

100f3
I suggest changing "eh" to "huh"
The english would be "ay" but it's not used usually except in caricature

101f5
In the background text: Youre -> You're & Thats -> That's
Add a period after "chicken" (because the other endings you can't see but one ends with a question mark)
This might be a harder fix. Use your best judgment!

102f1
Missing text: Huh!?

102f2
Ya -> you
(I think we switched those all in the first three?)
(The next bubble immediately switches back to "you," so I think these are for consistency)

102f3
bad by this, but, -> bad by this, but…

102f4
Recently -> Well, recently
A flow suggestion

p102f4b1: you have -> you've

103f1
Remove the comma after "before"

103f2
Remove the comma after "But" in the first bubble
Busier than -> busier'n
Remove the "but" in the second bubble

103f4
Kya! -> Oh good!

104f1 
both commas to ellipses

105f1
Yoshiko-san, I betcha, must -> I betcha Yoshiko-san must
(flow suggestion)

108f2
Comma after "perfume" to an ellipsis

108f3
Commas after "obvious" and "choices" to an ellipses
so people -> some people

p108f3b3: you are -> you're

p108f3b4: so -> some

108f4
A period after "well"

109f1
The perfume -> your perfume

109f5
Remove "and the shopping"? 
The repetition is odd here

111f1
Poppa -> my husband
(following the change in 50f4)

Comma to period after "my husband"

Then even after it -> even after that, it

Move the comma after "meals" to after the "and" there

p111f2b1: that -> like // "that" could very easily be read as the end of a sentence given that we're broken across two bubbles; "like" makes it very obvious that we're only halfway through the thought
Then, add an ellipsis to after "felt like"
to clearly show that the right bubble is first in reading order

111f4
Remove the second "now" after "alone" and change the comma at the end of the first bubble to an ellipsis

Change the comma after myself to a period

112f4
time". -> time."
(since outside the quotes is oxford style, which we haven't been using)

113f1
All about taking care -> all about self-sacrifice to take care

113f5
Yoshi… -> Yoshi--
(using an em dash instead of two dashes)

114f1
Rewrite as (including the quotes in the bubble):
"Do you have someone you're livin' with?" Or, what I really want to ask is "are you married?" She must be married, riiiiight?" But I'm livin' alone now, so it could be that she's also livin' alone, right?

p115f1b2: when you feel -> when I feel

115f5
If it is easy to do, swap the interrobangs around so they are !?
If it requires any meaningful effort, then no prob. The Japanese was doing it as !? So I figured we could stay consistent with it

116f2
Uwah. -> Heh.
Or another suitable interjection

117f1
Weloco… -> Welco--
Use an em dash if possible instead of two dashes

p117f2b1: it has -> it's
p117f4b1: someplace -> anyplace
p117f5b1: ML -> mL // 1ML is one million times greater than 1mL; case actually matters here

118
So if you'd like, please look around. -> so please look around if you'd like.

p119f2b1: certainly would -> would certainly
p119f3b1: but something a bit -> but a bit // repetition of "something" is awkward
p119f3b3: cardamon -> cardamom // cardamon is attested, but it's much rarer; no reason not to use the standard

p120f1b2: Clearly -> clearly
p120f1b3: who has -> who's
p121f6b2: Pappa's -> My husband's
p122f2b2: papa -> my husband
p122f3b2: my father-in-law and mother-in-law -> my father- and mother-in-law

123
Wha? -> What?

125
Smells so good -> It smells so good

127f1
Add a period after "Ok, then"

p127f2b2: sweet-peas -> sweet peas

127f4
Oho! -> Ah!
Japanese interjection to an english one

128f1
More sweet -> sweeter

128f2
So that… -> So…
To reduce the number of "that"s