Content warning: Incest; fountain pens as some sort of leaky metaphor; At least one friend isn't dumb as a brick.

Surprisingly didn’t take that long, since there’s no SFX. I also discovered that there is an official English translation, but TL and TS are both very bad (see for yourself: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/112511074) so I’m glad I did this anyway.

I actually know someone IRL named Rie with shitty parents and a twin sister who was their closest friend for all of childhood. I don’t think they’re quite as close as these two though…

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Ouej8kzJpAJn5VVBlhQ0gO-pYsOvFhz9

thru page 50 (51-end are missing)

pg10 pn4: Capitalize "Mum"? Its capitalized everywhere else in the story.
pg12 pn3: "WAS seeing them fighting all the time"
pg13 pn2: I think the tl text works better here, rather than just "still..." Carries more weight.
pg20 pn1: Missing "these" before feelings
pg22 pn1: Missing comma after "hug is that"
pg22 pn3: Either "I haven't" instead of "I've never" or drop "yet"
pg32 pn1: Missing "to" - "mean TO you"
pg38 pn3: Don't need "the college". Just college. I don't think they're meaning there's only one college in the town.
pg46 pn3: uncapitalize "were"

So google decided to only select the first 50 pages for this and the other work when I used the "select all" keyboard shortcut, that's why I only had part of the review file.

Anyways, only thing of note was pages 59 & 60. Capitalization of Mum and Dad. You typically capitalize them for the first portion, so consistency would indicate they should be capitalized by the twins here too.

Nobody will probably catch stuff I missed. Interesting story.

Thanks for the review! And sorry it took so long to get back to this…

pg13: the original TL – “That was the biggest thing I felt about it. / But more than anything,” – came across contradictory to me, because she says that it’s the biggest thing, but then immediately says that there’s something bigger about it, which is why I changed it.

pg59 & 60: My rule for capitalization is that “I talked to my dad” is not capitalized, but “I talked to Dad” is, so it is consistent here. (https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/capitalizing-family/)

Okay, I’ve uploaded this to Dynasty now.