thanks!
16: So I can’t just change the verb to “Addâ€, it doesn’t make sense, I’d have to rewrite “With a little yuri, how wonderful would that be?†→ “Add in a little yuri, and how wonderful would that make it?â€. And I’m a bit sceptical of that since it’s just more wordy.
21/1: Balsamiq Sans. It’s a weird font, because it is a handwritten font, but is neat enough to often look like a normal gothic one. I’m very surprised you think it looks like Courier New of all things, since it’s not monospace and not serif?
22/6: I put it in italics, which I think is more normal than quotation marks for this in English.
26/2: I thought to remove it (a) for space and (b) because I don’t think having it in or not actually changes the meaning of the sentence? Since it’s directly addressed to Hansel, it’s not like it could mean anything else.
30/8: Good point – I completely misread that scene. Fixed.
37/2: I was avoiding “pass out†because that means to become unconscious, whereäs here since it’s a fever she’s presumably just sleeping. If you look up “to flake out†then it shows both the ditching meaning and the sleeping meaning.
39/4: I thought not to do this because “both†already makes the “and†emphasized, thus it comes across childish (to me) to emphasize it again.
